things you should never run into a room and yell + announcements

it's midweek, when it feels like it should at least be thursday.  here is a dose of mercy, in the form of laughter, to get you through the week.

you owe me.

oh no, wait, there's more.

now you owe me even more.

and don't try to pay me in peanut butter.

acceptable forms of payment are as follows:
form an alliance with me

that is all.


the sunday six: edition 40

what is up, yo?

if we're friends on facebook, you may have noticed that i'm researching and about to start the paleo diet.  this post does not, in any way, reflect that fact.  the diet hasn't started yet, sooooo maybe let's just look at this is my last hurrah.

also, remember that that thing i once said about "40 bags in 40 days"?  i may have said something about "doing this" and "starting monday".  that was fourteen days ago.  fourteen. and in fourteen days, i've filled one bag.  one.  i am nothing if not stupid-good at procrastinating.  

and if i know anything, it's that i probably haven't even begun to procrastinate yet, and it's a shame too, because my spice cabinet has never been happier.
if you're a local, have i got a treat for you.  (if you're not, come on down!  it'll be my treat!) this is a recent discovery thanks to my friend, serena, who is a TRUE friend.  what else would you call one who shares this kind of life-changer with you? i can't stop thinking about it.  

i was there thursday AND friday last week.  yes, two consecutive days.

am i sad about that?  

the chips and salsa, homemade.  
homemade chips, y'all.  melt in your mouth.  the chilaquiles will make you wish you had 2 or 3 stomachs.  (order a side of pico de gallo with your meal.  if you don't like pico, i'd rather not know about it.  let me continue to think of the world as a happy place, please and thank you.)

also, they serve free dessert, which brings me to my second point.

soft serve
mmm, soft serve.  i have a special affinity for free soft serve, which is exactly what maya's offers.  all i need to know now is when i can move in.  i'm ready to sign that contract. 

--if you are dieting, i do apologize for today's post.--

long shirts
i heart the long shirt trend and as long as i'm eating the type of fare featured in the number one and two spots, long shirts are my BFF of the fashion world.  

being loved to LIFE
i'm sure we've all heard and probably have even said, "i love her to death!" and i don't take issue with that, but i can tell you that i have been loved to death and loved to life, and they are not the same.  i am so grateful to and for my friends who love me to life.  may i always do the same.

and by goodwill, i don't mean "a kindly feeling of approval and support: benevolent interest or concern", although i don't hate that.

no, what i'm talking about here is goodwill industries, int'l.  y'all, it pays to check your local goodwill's calendar (and mark yours) for sales.  a couple times a month they have $2 sales on certain items (jeans, blazers, sweaters and sweatshirts, t-shirts) and once a month, all clothing $5.99 and under is $1.  you have to like digging, and you have to not mind sneezing, but whatever the cost, (dust bunnies in the nose, time spent rifling through rack after rack after rack) it is worth it.  
i love a bargain.  
i love well-made clothes.  
therefore, i love goodwill.
words that induce laughing
it's my two favorite things happening at one time!  
words.  and laughing.
it's a divine romance.
found on pinterest
this is your captain speaking. 
next stop is whenever.
just be, like, "stop".

happy sunday to yous!!  love you guyth.


the sunday six: edition 39


you thought i was late huh?
i'm not late.
it's still sunday.
so really, i'm just fashionably late.

fashionably late -
the refined art of being just late enough to give the impression that you are a busy, popular person that was held up with other business.

see that? refined art.  don't be mad wit' me.  i'm just sittin' over here honin' my skill of giving impressions of busyness.  i'm quite good at it.

now, without further delay...

screen doors
i wish all my doors could be screen doors.
well, not really, because it's impractical, but if i could, i'd have three.  one for each exterior door, and one somewhere in the interior.   there's nowhere where that works right now, but maybe someday.
lavender scented gain dryer sheets
mama said knock you out.
good runs
i ran a 5K this weekend. it sucked. it was not a good run.
neither was my one run this past week.
i hate it when that happens.
but what i love is the good runs.
it's why i keep tying my laces. chasing the elusive "good runs".
lately, it seems i'd have better luck trying to catch a whisper by the tail.

i used to search ebay.
no, let me start over.
i used to spend hours mercilessly beating the bushes of ebay, searching madly for the best cosmetic brushes.  i thought they needed to be made of badger hair. i don't know where i got this notion, but let me tell you, badgers were costly little suckers.

(update: i just checked ebay for the little gems and they are now reasonably priced. maybe there was a real good sale on badgers somewhere.  they used to be one of those items that you had to get over the minimum bid hump before they even took you (or your money) seriously.)

anyway, the brushes, i wanted them so badly.  more than inigo montoya wanted the six-fingered man!
i just couldn't figure a way to justify such an expense.

it was like trying to put a price on NOT being ugly.  such a struggle!

can i afford these brushes?
well i don't know, self.
the real question is, can you afford to NOT buy the brushes?

i never did buy those brushes.  not because i didn't think they were worth it.  i did.  (foolish, foolish girl.)  i didn't buy them because i didn't have anything of value i could sell, like an extra soul, to buy them.

you'll be glad to know i'm not as stupid as i used to be.  (feel free to congratulate me.  it was quite a feat.)  and you may also be glad to know i've found a much less costly alternative to badger hair.  well maybe you don't care, but i do.  and other people care.
(i'm lookin' at you, stretch.)

and ya'll listen, and listen good.  they're as smooth as a baby's bottom! badgers wish they were so velutinous.  

here's a lil' peek-a-loo at how they look:
if you wanna know how they feel, get your own.

this hair
 when i have the cash, it's all mine.

it's like she dipped the ends of her hair in a bowl filled with sunshine.
these words
each friend represents a world in us.
a world possibly not born, until they arrive.
anaïs nin

thanks for arriving, friends.

and thanks for reading.

happy sunday to you all, and to all a good night!


nailed it

a moose noshes much mush.  

y'all know that tongue twister?  i'd never heard it before.  one of the kids came across it in a book and they were all clambering to be the first to get through it without tripping.

never to be outdone, the 4 year old, shortest of the shorties, very self-assuredly says,
and i quote:
"i can shay that.  a noos moshes mush mush.  sho easy."


keep trying honey. you'll get it next time.


reading a store-front sign, our eldest man-child sees the word 'education' and says aloud,


close honey, but no cigar.
  ...and now for your own uh-douche-uh-cay-shun:
U.S. funfair stalls in the mid-20th century 
offered cigars as prizes to the winner. 
whenever someone would lose a game -- 
particularly, the one where you test your strength 
by trying to ring a bell with a sledge hammer --
after being so close to victory and still falling short, 
the owner of the stall would say,
"close, but no cigar."  
there is no evidence to back this up, 
however it is likely the phrase originated from here. 
arbitrary so it must be true.

and now i'm off to buy cigars, for when he gets it right next time.


the sunday six: edition: links


stay ahead of fashion curves without busting your wallet (and your man bustin' ya chops).

i liked this, and i thought i'd share it because most of you are writers, and maybe you've wrestled with this, too.

i'm gonna do this.  starting monday.
 i want to do this.  the food looks delicious, healthy and do-able.  for 10 smackers a month, you get a menu and a grocery list for each week.  ADD TO CART!

i made the chocolate almond one tonight.  next on the list, pumpkin spice.  
back up off me, international delight.  you can't touch this.

a nifty gifty
in honor of the season premier of parks and rec, which is less than two weeks away, here is a nifty printable gift that will bring you joy for days to come.  if you'll print it and play with it, that is.
i give you,
tom haverford.
you're welcome.  

and in case you're unfamiliar, that beaker at the top left corner is not poison.  (phew, right?) it's a "high-end kahlua-style liquer", called snake juice.  sold exclusively at the snakehole lounge.  just didn't want anybody to be alarmed and think it might be dangerous.

happy sunday, folks!


all is grace


All Is Grace (With Ann Voskamp) from Shaun Groves on Vimeo.

you have loved us
you have loved us all
you have loved us all so we love all

you have blessed us
you have blessed us all
you have blessed us all so we bless all

thank you for Christ and cross
through us tell the wandering
thank you for making peace
through us love our enemies

thank you for daily bread
through us fill the empty
thank you for bodies whole
through us mend the breaking

all is grace
all is grace
all is grace and grace enough for...

all is grace
all is grace
all is grace and grace enough for all of us

for all of us...

you have loved us
you have loved us all
you have loved us all so we love all

download the song for free here.


the sunday six: edition: not a fan


dr. pepper
it's true. i can't stand the stuff.
i'm a pibb girl (but only with popcorn at the movies).
the doctor is out.
the mr. will see you now.

(i don't know what that means.)

 i have not the intestinal fortitude to eat an oyster.  i cannot eat something that looks like the production of a really bad chest cold? 

disposable razors
 lubricating strip?
smooth shave?
you're not fooling anybody.
i mean truly, have you ever been more lacerated in your whole adult life?  they're the reason band-aids have such a following.
i don't care what they promise you.
they lie.
don't believe the lies.

fair swings
 aww, doesn't that look like fun?
it doesn't.
 it looks like puke.

the beach 
i know.  that one's a surprise.
it's not so much that i hate the beach. i don't hate it.
i just infinitely prefer a stream in the mountains, a good hike to a waterfall, woodland creatures.  the beach has no hedgehogs.  no chipmunks.  no cute little red and white mushroom caps...  not enough pleasantries to recommend itself to me.
i would never see this on the beach:
and so the forest has my heart.

road trips 
i love them in theory but i dislike not being able to stop because of the rush to get there and then the rush to get home.  see my letters whizzing by?  like my car, speeding past so many missed picture  opportunities!  i understand that we can't stop for every one (i hate it but i understand) or else we'd need an extra week to get home, and who has the time?, and this is precisely what i dislike about road trips.  there's not enough time to document them. it's such a rush you don't have time to suck the marrow out of them. 

in heaven though, i'm gonna love road trips!

and that is all she wrote!
happy sunday, folks!



he hands me a flip-top mayo,

hey mom, can you open this?

(done.)(with ease.)

(astonished) how'd you do that?

'cause i'm awesome.

you're not awesome at everything.

no, but most things.

you're not awesome at not loving me.

yeah, you right. i stink at that. 


fall-ing in love. get it? fall. falling? yeah.

 it's almost fall (hooray!), and my dearest wish, fashion-ly speaking, is to live in clothes like these. the long skirt with a long sleeve top just barely tucked in is my new style crush, and i've fallen hard.  like, concussion hard.

i can't wear orange (or any warm, autumnal shades) unless i wish to look dead (i don't), but other than the color choice here, this outfit is perfect.  maybe gray, or even dark green would do nicely.  
and good gravy, is that a pocket her hand is in?  

sweet mother of pearl.  i die.
and this little sugar.  what a darling little getup.  i can't afford jcrew (who can??), but i'm pretty sure i could recreate this look with a few trips to The Goodwill, and maybe The Etsy.
and now for the jewels.  i have been a pinning fool since i've seen these next photos. (you may have noticed, if you follow my pinboards.)

look at all the lucite / bakelite / plastic with and without rhinestones! j'adore ça!
it's like the 60s 70s and 80s at their finest all over again.
 also, on an unrelated note, 
where are this girl's arms?  
i never see anybody 
with an over-sized blazer 
draped over her outfit like a cape. 
it's so unrealistic, jcrew. 
other than that, i cast no stones.
except maybe the puffy vest.
that's not something i can get behind either.
  leave it to jcrew to make a large plastic chain necklace an item you covet.  (i covet.) they have super powers, those jcrew folks.  not strong enough to make me pay their prices but strong enough to send me sniffing out etsy like a hound dog trailin' a coon.
i never thought anything would have the power to sway me back in the direction of plastic bangles.  but here i be, smitten.  smote?  smited?  

i love them ardently.

here are a few items i've found that are super fantastic:
subliminal message:
my birthday is next month
 i'll stop there, lest i post every picture on my pinboard!

so, in closing, these clothes, that jewelry and a couple of caftans and perhaps these shoes...
 ...and i am golden, baby!

is there anything you're crushing on this fall? please to be sharing in the comments.  who knows, there may be other things i'm supposed to fall in love with.  i'd hate to miss out.