keep trying honey. you'll get it next time.

reading a store-front sign, our eldest man-child sees the word 'education' and says aloud,

'uh-douche-uh-cay-shun'.

close honey, but no cigar.

  ...and now for your own uh-douche-uh-cay-shun:

U.S. funfair stalls in the mid-20th century 

offered cigars as prizes to the winner. 

whenever someone would lose a game -- 

particularly, the one where you test your strength 

by trying to ring a bell with a sledge hammer --

after being so close to victory and still falling short, 

the owner of the stall would say,

"close, but no cigar."  

there is no evidence to back this up, 

however it is likely the phrase originated from here. 

arbitrary so it must be true.

and now i'm off to buy cigars, for when he gets it right next time.