Year Naming

I have spent the past year running.  Well, maybe not the entire year, but the better part of it.  Actually, I've done it nearly all my life.  When life gets tough and decisions don't come easy, and emotions battle against reason and I just don't wanna anymore, I run.  I hide.  I ignore.

I ignore my house.  The dust, the sticky floors, the piles, the meals.
I ignore my people, big and small.
I ignore that small voice that says, come away with me.

I stick my head in the sand of the internet, or the sewing machine, or a novel and I disappear from now. 

Running is my favorite dysfunctional behavior.  But this year, 2011, will be different.  Not because I say it will be (human effort accomplishes nothing), but because I feel God putting his finger on this area, and when God puts his finger on something in me, it changes.  I love that he comes for me.  I love that he doesn't leave me alone, to build this building all by myself.  I love that he comes for me.

I've already started 'cleaning house' by deleting bookmarked blogs that drag me away from home and I've replaced them with ones that speak words that make my soul strong.  Words that make me want to be home.  To be here.

I'm a homemaker.

I just am.  I don't want to 'go to work', or go to school.  I want to be home.  But this year I have fought that because I've felt outmatched.  Outdone.  Unfit for the battle.  Beat.

I've felt that it was altogether too much.  This battle, this lot... It was too big, and I, too little.

A few nights ago as I lay in bed ready for sleep, I thought of my life and of the so many things I feel I can't lay hold of... that my life is pulling away from me, and I can't keep up with the pace of it.  And then I saw myself swimming in open water; my life, all these things, a motor-powered vessel, pulling farther and farther ahead of me, widening the gap between us.

What a sinking feeling.

Life is hard, and it's fast, but part of my problem (if not all of it) is me.  (It nearly always is.)  My unwillingness to turn and face it, my turning away in hopes it'll all clear up while my back does all the talking, poor attitude, poor time management.  Feeding on junk food when there's wholeness to be had. Preferring the junk.

One of the new authors I've bookmarked has got me thinking (she always does).  Ann names her years, and this year, I'm doing that, too.  So much good comes from purposed living.  This year I'm following Ann's lead, and like her, I'm naming my year the Year of Here.

Aside: Ann's writing is brilliant.  Brilliant.  
When I read something good, and striking, 
I want to write it down.  (I usually do exactly that.) 
I want to write down her entire posts.  
They're that good.

It's gonna be a good year. 

Simple.  Trimmed down.  Purposed.  Here.  I've missed so much, and regret is corrosive.  I don't like the taste of it.  Pass me the present.

The foolish man seeks happiness in the distance; 
the wise grows it under his feet. 
James Openheim

What'll you name your year?


The Sunday Six: Edition: Things You Can't Buy

life-breathing, healing, a warm blanket around my shoulders
tenacious, aggressive, surprising, never-giving-up grace
my own personal shack
the place(s) of my pain where my Papa leads me to and then sets me free
God's love letters
a glimpse of a bunny before sunrise; a hug from a child who just seems to "know" when I need it; ease where I expected difficulty...  little treats for my heart, tailor-made just for me
...believing that God is God, and I can let go
the place where I hear Him say, "I like you"

What about you? What are your favorites?


Gift Guide | They Probably Don't Have THIS

We all know those people who are hard to buy for because they already have everything.  Well, I wanted to go ahead and give you guys a Gift Guide for those folks.  Consider it my gift to you.

(I'm here to help.)

ugly pants
There's a real good chance there's not a pair of these Talpa Trousers gracing their closet.  Let's hope not anyway, huh.  What a surprise they'll have Christmas morn! 
elfin boots
These are just downright fun and frolicsome, aren't they?  Actually, they're called Funtasma Frolic.  I have no idea what Funtasma means, except that it includes the word fun, which brings me to the conclusion that that's what they were aiming for.  Unless your name is Jovie, you probably don't already have some of these.  Personally, I can't imagine wanting them, but somewhere out there, somebody will be loving these tonight... or whichever night you decide to give them to that special someone.  

an air blasting gun
For all their sexy photo needs, obviously.  Or for getting the cat off the kitchen counter.  It's versatile.
huggable plush bacon
Everybody loves bacon, amiright?  This bacon even talks!  It says, "I'm bacon!", when you squeeze him.  Personally though, I think they should might wanna add, "You've got a friend in meat!" to the queue.  You could also throw in some Bacon Lip Balm for good measure.  You probably can't go wrong with that stuff.  Probably.
I don't know about you, but it thrills ME!  Who wouldn't love some chain mail vestments?!  I reckon these have been hand forged by Gimli himself in the mines of Moria!  Half or full-sleeve, one for Summer, one for Winter.  There's also the hood, for the real warrior on your list.  He (or she) could wear it for Medieval battle, or just to go out and fight traffic on Tuesday on the way to breakfast.

the expendable tee
Nothing like a gift that says, "you are useless to me" to warm the heart of a friend.  Guess you could just say something along the lines of "Thought this was super appropriate because you mean nothing to me. Just kidding, you really do.  Just kidding, I was telling the truth the first time.  Just kidding, I'm lying again.  Just kidding, you really are a dope.  Just kidding, I love you to death. Just kidding."


Winner! Winner! Chicken Dinner!


 We have ourselves (or myself)(whatever) a WINNER!  

(say it like Weener 'cause that's a fun little accent)
(What?  It's a town in Germany.)

Sarah, you lucky, precious, darling girl!  Today is your luckiest of days!

Of course, it should go without saying that in my estimation, you are all winners, (Weeners)(people of Weener?) because you all rock the casbah.  

Hey listen, if you didn't Ween this time, it's okay.  Every time someone follows me, I love them, so see, there is always a prize!

And now I must go and fulfill my obligation to sweet Sarah!

tee tee eff enn!


An Announcement, Another Announcement and then a Final Greeting

-1- Only one more follower and my Living Blog will have as many followers as my Dead Blog, which would do good things for my self-esteem, is all.

Just for fun, my next follower WINS!  A PRIZE!

I was thinking I could send some art/love in the mail!  I'd send you one of these lovely prize ribbons, only I don't have any, but maybe I can make you one!  Oooh, now you're enticed, I just know it!  You'll have to give me your address, of course, but it would be worth it because mail art/love is always worth giving away your address to a perfect stranger!

[Just looking at those boxes makes my head spin a little.
I wish it were a Scratch 'n Sniff!  I am a Post Office lover, 
with no hope or plans for recovery.
It's the smell.  It puts me over the moon!] 

-2- In other news, Mama's down 8 pounds.  (Like the movie.)(Or maybe not at all like the movie.  I don't know, I never saw it.)

-3- You are now free to move about the cabin.  Good day, fine folks!  Over and out.  xo


E is for Ewwww!

I've said before that my youngest is like a puppy.

He's loyal and affectionate.

He enjoys digging, chasing cars, making messes and he's been known to dig in the trash. (...and now it sounds like he's a contestant on a dating show.)

While in the throes of house potty training, ('throes' not an over-exaggeration here, since by definition it means: a condition of agonizing struggle or trouble) he relieved himself all throughout the house leaving "surprises" for me.  This, he did several times.  He has also pooped in the grass outside in the back yard.  And in the side yard.  And also in the driveway. 

And today, to complete the circle, he brought me a decayed carcass of an unidentifiable furry thing, and left it at the back steps.  Beaming with pride and smiling all over his face, he says, "Look what I got!"

Some days I wish I had eaten them when they were babies.