winning gift guide 2011

for all you last minute shoppers, like myself, here are a few ideas for the hard-to-buy-for people on your list.  don't despair, help is here!

before we begin, let me just go ahead and offer up my preemptive "you're welcome" to save myself the time later.  because later, i ought to be shopping.

should be.
ought to be.
we'll see if that actually happens.

now that i have this list compiled though, it should make that easier. 

-1-
crochet shorts, winning at losing
there just aren't enough of these in rotation, you know?  
when was the last time you saw a pair?  even the caption says "poorlydressed dot com".  see?  and this is what i'm saying to you.  the state of this world concerns me, whatwith its blatant and absolute disregard for this issue.  yes, yes, the world needs love and let's spread the love but can we also (i beg you) spread the crochet shorts, too? help your loved one WIN at LOSING.  help them to be the best loser!

-2-
the candwich, winning at advance planning
for all your on-the-go buddies who cannot trifle with silly butter knives and other such trivialities.  each can comes with "a candy surprise (it's Laffy Taffy - surprise!)". they have a 1-year shelf life so you could buy a year supply -- and wouldn't it be cool to have that auto-shipped, one month supply at a time, to their door -- imagine their surprise!  and that's before they find the Taffy!
//source
-3-
chain mail dice bag, winning at safety
to go along with last years' shirt, of course.  complete the ensemble and protect his-slash-her dice at the same time.  those dice will feel very safe and really, it just shows that you care.
//source
-4-
captain america hoodie, winning at patriotism
you probably already bought one like this, but i'm posting it anyway, just in case.  better safe than sorry.
//source

just in case you were on the fence about whether or not this is cool enough:
This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."

-5-
nutria jewelry, winning at keeping up with the trends
i hear this is the next big thing.  be the one to get it started in your town, on ya special lady friend.

-6-
easy feet, winning at noticing


nothing says i love you like caring for your loved ones ashy feet.  they will feel hugged by your caring and keen eye for what they really need. good for you for noticing!


...and there you have it.  see? i told you you would thank me.

Comments

  1. Aw babe, you posted my wishlist!

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  2. surprise! now you know what i'm getting you... sorry i ruined the surprise about the laffy taffy.

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  3. okay, this is hilarious. how in the world do you find this ridiculousness?

    but as the the Captain America jacket -- I can totally see Stretch wearing 'dat.

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  4. Oh my word, I'm dying! I have nothing to say to this. *resounding applause*

    (Except can I tell you how much I love that you used the word "ashy"?)

    ReplyDelete
  5. Three words. "No, you move." HA!! My new motto!! You got me peein' in my pants over here! On your next list could you include some nice trendy "Depends" undergarments for your weak bladdered friends please? Thank you!

    ReplyDelete
  6. @Mama: aren't you more surprised that there is so much to be found?

    @Tara: *bowing and bowing some more* thank you. thank you. also, don't you think ashy is underused? :)

    @Kari: so i hit what i was aiming for? yesssss! *a la napoleon

    @Tammy: that can be arranged. but only because you're my special friend. i don't do these kinds of favors for just anybody. :)

    ReplyDelete

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