i bet you knew people like us. or maybe you know them now. or maybe you were them. or are them.
there were ways for things to be done and by george we were not gonna veer from that path. we were gonna do things right.
Santa Claus, bless his heart, was not on the right path.
being the fascists that we were, we wouldn't even entertain the idea because we couldn't enter the world of all the lying parents who lied to their children about Santa (liars!) (and if they lie about that then who knows where the lying ends! First Santa then tax fraud?)
it was a slippery slope, so we decided that no, we would stay on the straight and narrow.
so naturally, we told 'em from Jump Street that there was no Santa... that all of their gifts came from people who love them.
after all, we didn't want them to learn later on that we had lied (like the serpent!) to them about Santa and then set them on the path of questioning every other thing we'd ever told them was true.
i just knew it would end like this:
because that's what would happen. right?
of course we hadn't exaggerated the situation at all.
this year though, our 8 year old decided we were wrong. he has a friend who told him he's seen Santa Claus and well, that was all the proof his little heart needed.
Santa was (is) real.
the reason for the change of heart?
it's because i believe in unicorns.
he can't trust my judgment anymore. he questions my good sense.
he'd sooner believe in a man who can eat and drink more milk and cookies in one night than all the kids in day cares across america could eat in a week, than to believe in a horse (found in nature) with a horn (like a narwhal, also found in nature).
at least his friend has seen Santa, which is more than i can say to back up my claims.
wish me luck with the rest of parenting, y'all.
seems i'm in over my head here.
i should note, since there was some confusion with a friend about this post, that my belief in unicorns is that they existed in nature in the past... not the present. i just argue that they were real, not mythical. the end.