How To Smell Like Roadkill and STILL Not Be Satisfied With Your Purchase

I have spent many a round quarter in the name of beauty.

Most recently, I'd heard tale of a cream that promised to eliminate unwanted facial hair. 

Really? Unwanted? 
Does that really need clarification? 
Who among the ladyfolk has facial hair 
that is not unwanted...
and is also not raking in cheddar hand over fist
as a circus act?

Anyway, I thought I'd give the magical cream a shot.  So I buy the cream.  I smell the cream.  Hmm, "not bad", I say to the cream.  I apply the cream.  I set the timer for 4 minutes, as directed.  I wait on the cream.

    tick
        tock
            tick
                tock

When the timer beeps, the old joke is indubitably true.  The thing I was smelling, which had gone from "not bad" to "what died", was indeed my upper lip.

Also,  all that stank and it removed exactly zero hairs.


That right there is what is commonly known as A Sad Ending.

the (sad) end (ing)

Comments

  1. your upper lip! ha!

    at least you had the courage to buy and try.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Girl, shave dat. We live in Louisiana. Female facial hair is like a staple down here. Just go with it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. ha ha! i just read mama belle's comment.

    so sorry about the disappointing product.
    something that smells like death should
    have brought it to the stache.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Anon: Not sure if it was courage or just being an ol' sap buying into the biggest beauty joke on shelves right now. They should just come out and say it, "Not only will you still have a mustache, but you will now also have the added benefit of smelling like alligator bait! Get yours today!"

    Lea: Mmmmhm. Should indeed, but shorn't.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Girl, you have some of the most experiences! I'm so glad you share them with us.

    Did the product come with a money back guarantee??

    ReplyDelete
  6. that's the best picture!! bunk! indeed it is.

    ReplyDelete

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