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Showing posts from September, 2010

How To Smell Like Roadkill and STILL Not Be Satisfied With Your Purchase

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I have spent many a round quarter in the name of beauty.

Most recently, I'd heard tale of a cream that promised to eliminate unwanted facial hair. 

Really? Unwanted?  Does that really need clarification?  Who among the ladyfolk has facial hair  that is not unwanted... and is also not raking in cheddar hand over fist as a circus act?
Anyway, I thought I'd give the magical cream a shot.  So I buy the cream.  I smell the cream.  Hmm, "not bad", I say to the cream.  I apply the cream.  I set the timer for 4 minutes, as directed.  I wait on the cream.

    tick
        tock
            tick
                tock

When the timer beeps, the old joke is indubitably true.  The thing I was smelling, which had gone from "not bad" to "what died", was indeed my upper lip.

Also,  all that stank and it removed exactly zero hairs.


That right there is what is commonly known as A Sad Ending.

the (sad) end (ing)

The Sunday Six : Nuen

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nuen : German
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hautelook Have you seen this yet?  Every time I go I get excited about something I see.  Clothes, purses, makeup, shoes, cool housewares... The discounts are usually deep (like $18 Department Store lip color and eye shadows for $3-$4 -- that's cheaper than WalMart!) and you can buy stuff for yourself, your man, your bébés, your home.  Or your friends who may or may not (or may) be having birthdays soon. And Christmas is (SOMEHOW) right around the corner!

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This picture : it makes me happy.

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Questions.  I like it when people ask me questions.  I can answer some tough questions; I'm quite good at it.  You may be surprised.  For example, I know Barbie's last name.  (At least I think I do.)(Yes, I'm certain of it.  I just double-checked.)  So see, I know some stuff.   So, you got anything for me?  I challenge you to bring to me your toughest questions.  Let me to exampilate:
question: See? Highly qualified.

Highly.  You need not be dubious.

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Tuesdays…

Birds & Breathing

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I have been such an ostrich, head buried in a homeschool heap. So much so that I can scarce think of anything else!


Interesting aside: While looking for an image of an ostrich,  I found a picture of an albino peacock  (which someone had tagged 'ostrich').   Some people just do not know their birds.
About that head buried thing though, I'm afraid I've miles to go before I come up for air... and if miles are measured in the same way as weeks comma which in this case comma they are comma well then, I reckon I have 12 miles to cover before I get a break.  Twelve.  Stretch out ya hands and pray fo' me.

That fact gets me more than a little overwhelmed.

Meanwhile, I just keep washing my mind with these words:

Our Father, who is in heaven... heaven being the air all around me... Breathe in the Lord.

Breathe in the Lord, and breathe out anxiety.
Breathe in the Lord, and breathe out fear.
Breathe in the Lord, and breathe out _____....

inhale, exhale, repeat...

In addition to all the …

The Sunday Six : Eight : With Hashtags #nottobeconfusedwitheatingworms

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I realize I skitzed out and didn't post last week. I just didn't have it in me. I'm sure you're all extremely relieved to see I've returned to you this week with The (Beloved) Sunday Six. I just know you've been waiting with bated breath (not interchangeable with baited breath, incidentally. Totally different thing...).


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I would like these to wrap around my living room,
like a modern twist on the wallpaper border, circa 1990.
#i'minlovewithletters two
I'd love a set of these in every room in my house.
Every room.
#crazyaboutindustrialbasketsandsuch three
Ooh-la-la.
#makehastefalltempsandbirthdaymoney

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This is called the Blog Writers Dress.
#translation:ithasmynamealloverit

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Verily I say unto you, everything about this dress is calling unto me.
#lovefiresa'burningstrong
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You may remember that I recently posted about a watch.  Or maybe you don't remember given you're probably not as obsessed as I am with the things that I love. …

My resumé for when I get my dream job

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Now all I have to do is become a unicorn.
I'm assuming here, that in that moment, everything on this list would be magically infused and become me. Otherwise, sadly, I may not make a very good unicorn.

Never in all my life.

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Mercy come mercy.  You're not gonna believe the week I've just had.

Monday
School started, which meant that we made our weekly commute (an hour from home), leaving at 7:30 in the morning.  Bennis it was our first time doing this whole Classical Conversations thing and me being the tutor for the 4-7 year olds, there was some mental pressure and chaos and such as.  Ultimately though, the day went beautifully and a good time was had by all.  We pulled back into our "car porch" around 2 o'clock.
I love saying "car porch". 
Tuesday
Set up school work at the kitchen table and the Sweet Pickle decides this would be a good time to start in with the "I hate school.  School is the s-word." routine.  It was alot of fun.  I asked him to consider taking those ugly words into his room because they were hurting my ears.  He decided to not go that route, leaving me to decide for him.  So I carried him to his room while he reached out his exceedingly long arms …

The Sunday Six : syv : Edition Fanciful Furbishing

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syv  : Danish : seven
fanciful[fan-si-fuh'l] 1. characterizedbyorshowingfancy 2. imaginary;unreal

This list is both.



I got this catalog in the mail this week and immediately went weak in the knee area.
So many things to love, I could devote an entire Sunday Six to it... and so I have.
Lucky you.

one Look!  Shelves with LADDERS!!  Oh Mercedes.  [mer-cuh-dees] I love these. I need two please,  to "faux flank" my sofa, which is a term I just made up to mean I want them positioned against the imaginary wall with a big space between them,  with my imaginary sofa out in front of them, not between them in a "traditional flank".
I'd put all my favorite books on the top shelves just so I could shimmy up the ladders mo' often. two I really like tufted sofas.
Duck cloth in Fog, please.
The love fires are burnin' down the house. three
Armoires.
I love them.  They love me.
Our love for each other runneth deep.
This one is double good.  It bears two of my favorite …