12.25.2011

the sunday six: edition: simple pleasures

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-1-
drinking from mason jars
mmmmm, so delicious. they just make everything taste better.

-2-
moccasins in the winter
for years i anticipated winter with horror, and not only for the temperature (because i hate being cold) but the other reason (which, come to think of it, is still about the temperature) was that my feet were always impractically shod.  i do love boots, i do, but they're not for every day, and flip flops or thin flats don't cut it in january. not even in south louisiana.  but this year, (this year has been good to me) the stars aligned in my favor and SHAZAM! from heaven! (in the form of The Goodwill) fell a pair of perfectly perfect, never worn moccasins!  warm and cheap.  my toes are so grateful.  so is my purse.
you may now congratulate me for killing two birds with one stone. i am the Goodwill Hunter.

-3-
help
friends who come alongside and say to me, either in word or deed:

"i will race with you. ...and we will reach the finish line together."
-4-
stitching paper
i find it very pleasing.  i think it's the texture.
//etsy
-5-
my new desk
i shouldn't call it a desk though.  the word desk is so cheerless.  it should be called by its proper name: roll top secretary.
they see me rollin'.
they hatin'.

someday i'd like to show you a picture. heck, i'd like that day to be today, but i don't know how to get pictures from my camera into my computer.  it's an arduous process and i keep forgetting how to do it.  i still would though, someday, like you to see it.  she is a beautiful creature.

remember that thing i once said about this year being good to me?  this desk, which was bestowed upon me for the spectacular price of FREE, is just one more proof of that.  ever since i first learned of them, i have loved roll tops.  it was my destiny to have one.  i'd see them in stores on occasion and pet them and die from love.  they are so romantic.

sitting at my desk makes we want to put wax seals on all my outgoing mail -- which, come to think of it, should increase i think, if for no other reason than that of being more like Miss Eliza Bennett, writing letters by candlelight to my dear sister and mr. darcy.

-6-
do overs
looking back over my year, at all of my crappy execution of goals and such, i just want a do over.  more on that soon.  today though, i'm just grateful that there is such a thing: another chance to try again.

merry christmas to you and yours.  thanks for being here.
see you soon, when i will name my new year...

love to you all.
xoxo, jodie


---------------------------

ps: i'd like to pat myself on the back for (somehow) preemptively using one of the next season's top colors on my blog. see that tangerine tango?  you'll be seeing alot of it in the spring.

  i am ahead of the color curve and completely ignorant of how i did that.

cheers to pleasant accidents! 


12.08.2011

winning gift guide 2011

7 comments
for all you last minute shoppers, like myself, here are a few ideas for the hard-to-buy-for people on your list.  don't despair, help is here!

before we begin, let me just go ahead and offer up my preemptive "you're welcome" to save myself the time later.  because later, i ought to be shopping.

should be.
ought to be.
we'll see if that actually happens.

now that i have this list compiled though, it should make that easier. 

-1-
crochet shorts, winning at losing
there just aren't enough of these in rotation, you know?  
when was the last time you saw a pair?  even the caption says "poorlydressed dot com".  see?  and this is what i'm saying to you.  the state of this world concerns me, whatwith its blatant and absolute disregard for this issue.  yes, yes, the world needs love and let's spread the love but can we also (i beg you) spread the crochet shorts, too? help your loved one WIN at LOSING.  help them to be the best loser!

-2-
the candwich, winning at advance planning
for all your on-the-go buddies who cannot trifle with silly butter knives and other such trivialities.  each can comes with "a candy surprise (it's Laffy Taffy - surprise!)". they have a 1-year shelf life so you could buy a year supply -- and wouldn't it be cool to have that auto-shipped, one month supply at a time, to their door -- imagine their surprise!  and that's before they find the Taffy!
//source
-3-
chain mail dice bag, winning at safety
to go along with last years' shirt, of course.  complete the ensemble and protect his-slash-her dice at the same time.  those dice will feel very safe and really, it just shows that you care.
//source
-4-
captain america hoodie, winning at patriotism
you probably already bought one like this, but i'm posting it anyway, just in case.  better safe than sorry.
//source

just in case you were on the fence about whether or not this is cool enough:
This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — "No, you move."

-5-
nutria jewelry, winning at keeping up with the trends
i hear this is the next big thing.  be the one to get it started in your town, on ya special lady friend.

-6-
easy feet, winning at noticing


nothing says i love you like caring for your loved ones ashy feet.  they will feel hugged by your caring and keen eye for what they really need. good for you for noticing!


...and there you have it.  see? i told you you would thank me.

12.04.2011

it's time to make a move

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one sunday night, at a church in town that is not our regular church, hearing a speaker* that is not the regular speaker:

he's belting loudly,
"that thing that stands between you and God,
what are you gonna do about it?"
he's running back and forth across the front of the church, his body so full of passion and drive that he can't even walk anymore. he runs.

if you had one shot, one opportunity
to seize everything you ever wanted
would you capture it? or just let it slip?

...you only get one shot
do not miss your chance to blow
this opportunity comes once in a lifetime. 
eminem
"this is your moment,
on the count of three, i want you to shout it out!"

feet fail me not, 
this may be the only opportunity i got
eminem
holy crap! i'm in church,
other people are gonna hear me.
am i really about to do this?!

"what are you gonna do about it?!
come on!
it's clogging your pipe! what are you gonna do about it?
go hard!
go strong.
go for it.
here we go, ya ready?
shout it out, on
one!

two!

THREE!

SHOUT!"
throw the pills!, i shout.

SAY IT AGAIN!!
throw the pills!
 -------------------------------------------
for two years, at least, the thoughts weaved themselves into me. 


two years, like water dripping on a rock.  


at first, it was unthinkable, (unthinkable) having been sober for 12 years. i had no desire to fight my way back up that road again.  twelve years sobriety -- that sort of trophy is not quickly handed over.

except in exchange for an upgrade.

a thin body, the ultimate trophy...

eventually though, unthinkable faded away, and in its place - louder than reason, louder than 'sense', louder than trust in an all-knowing God, the thing i felt strongest was determination and desparation.

ever been there?

you ever wanted something so badly you didn't care what it cost to have it?

ever identified with sarah, hating your lot, fed up with waiting on God to come through for you?

ever taken your life into your hands, saying, 'no, God'... i'm done with your way. your way is too slow.

i don't know if our lives are ever really and truly in our own hands, but i've said, 'no, God. what's the holdup!  why won't you do something?! you see my struggle, i know you do.  i'm trying and i'm so tired of trying.  your way sucks. i'm going this way now'.

i finally said 'yes, i want to try a few.' 

i got some adderall,  took them for a few days and felt so conflicted --- pupils dilated, teeth clenched, so unlike myself, but also something else.  they 'worked'.  i wasn't hungry.

i wasn't hungry.

meanwhile, my trainer at the gym tells me about eating paleo, and how that would help me to reach my potential.

i knew when he said it, something resonated, this is the way.

Your teacher will be right there, local
and on the job,
urging you on whenever you wander left or right:
"this is the right road.
walk down this road."
isaiah 30:21

i can see it.  two paths, diverged in a v-formation.  before this, i don't remember ever feeling so tempted by anything...  such a drive to find life outside of him. i knew it wasn't the right way, but i didn't care.

i don't mean for it to sound so black and white. so clean cut. life is never so cut and dried as this sounds.  it was two lines of thought, fighting to be the alpha, criss-crossing and intersecting... it's never two tracks running alongside each other like train rails.  it's much more confusing and messy than that.  it's a tangled web.  sober, knowing thoughts of what to do one moment, drowned out by screaming flesh the next.  like two dogs fighting, one on top, and then the other, back and forth and over again.

i flushed what was left of those pills.

but then i got some more.

a different kind of pills, from a different source.  new justification, new reasons why this way was better.  i still felt high, just not as high.  i still clenched my teeth and fists. i still stuttered, trying to form sentences.  but i fought through, trying to deliberately act like someone not on speed.

i wanted to keep on going, but something nagged at me.  a fear... i was so afraid of what lived at the end of the road, not knowing specifically what it might look like, but fearing what generally waits down such a road, knowing how hard it might be to fight my way back... to come back from it.

i knew it was about more than pills, about so much more than losing weight.  i was shutting off my heart, closing myself off, walling myself in... i could feel myself losing my way all because i wanted so desperately to lose the weight.

i came home from church that sunday night and did nothing.  my mind was made up and i wasn't trying to convince myself anymore about which way was right, but i didn't act on it yet.

two days later, looking over my notes from that night, notes taken feverishly, not wanting to miss a word, knowing i was hearing the voice of the living God, calling me out, calling me up, i read these words:
"everything - and i do mean everything - 
connected with that old way of life has to go.  
it's rotten through and through.  
get rid of it!"

i walked over to the cabinet, took out the pills and walked over to the trash can and felt a fresh surge of questions rush up through me.
are you just being extreme? 
is this really necessary?
is throwing away a 2-month supply
in the trash really necessary?  
you could just give them away. 

i set them down on the counter, next to the trash can and sat back down at my open journal and Bible where i saw these words: "'this is the right road. walk down this road.' you'll scrap your expensive and fashionable god-images.  you'll throw them in the trash as so much garbage, saying, 'good riddance!'".

giggling and looking up into the sky, i shook my head sort of in disbelief, walked back to the bottle, picked it up and dropped it into the trash saying aloud to myself and to the enemy of my soul,

good riddance.

*rex crain