tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-27578088696257067302024-03-14T02:25:48.298-05:00VELOURJodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.comBlogger78125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-2809418726327268962019-03-23T10:55:00.001-05:002019-03-23T19:59:59.461-05:00the sacred path of doubt + happinessi recently started a centering prayer practice. we learned of a nearby group that meets weekly and two very dear friends and i started going earlier this year. this practice is giving me LIFE right now. each week it looks a little different than the last - and every time i go i leave with something i needed right now and for the journey ahead. it's been so sweet, and not always easy but so very beautiful.<br />
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today's weather has been what i like to call a bluebird day: cloudless, blue skies. drop dead gorgeous! outside of the home where we meet for prayer there is this big ol' labyrinth painted on a round cement slab. it's so cool! it looks just like this: (and now i need one)<br />
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<i>"the labyrinth turns the simple act of walking </i></div>
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<i>into a sacred experience."</i></div>
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<i><span style="font-size: x-small;">Walking A Sacred Path, L. Artress</span></i></div>
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the weather being what it is, we walked the labyrinth this morning, in silence, focusing on what we wanted to release on the way in, and then setting our intention for what we wanted to take with us on the way out. there were cards scattered face-down along the paths for us to turn over and to look at if we felt prompted.<br />
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i think we can all identify with how life twists and turns on itself and in the midst of the walking out our own paths, the Way can feel cramped and dizzying, but as it turns out, we seem to get where we need to go in the end, and each plot twist and tight turn was always just guiding us back to the Divine.<br />
in others.<br />
in ourselves.<br />
in nature.<br />
the Person Himself.</div>
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the first card i felt prompted to pick up was <b>doubt</b>.<br />
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i picked it up because doubt has been my constant companion. i don't remember a time when it wasn't with me.<br />
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growing up, the world felt unsafe. somewhere along the way i decided that if i could just hitch my wagon to all of the right beliefs about people and things and the world then that would be a way to make my world feel more safe and secure and controlled and it would help me to avoid so much of the pain of poor decisions, bad calls, and betrayal that almost destroyed me. knowing the right stuff would safeguard me and the people i love. knowledge felt like a superpower. </div>
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if you know me, you know that in stress, i first respond by pulling back, and then by checking what i'm thinking or feeling with people i trust because i often don't trust myself. if you are in relationship with me, you know i will ask what you think is an appropriate response to my anxiety. </div>
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<i>what should i do? where should i go? should i do this/that? what do you think? </i><br />
<i>what do you think? </i><br />
<i>what do you think?.... </i></div>
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can i trust myself to make the right call without feeling the need to have all of the answers? not having "all the answers" has paralyzed me in the past. can i make the right call with only partial information? with only the light i have for the step that i'm on? it feels painfully risky sometimes. debilitating, even.<br />
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it's not so much the decision that's the problem. it's not the thing but the consequence of the thing.<br />
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we all make decisions all the time. small ones and big ones. i haven't truly trusted myself to make any. what if things go badly (they have) and people get hurt? (they have) does that mean i did the wrong thing? what if i do make the wrong choice? (like in the Labyrinth movie - <i>she chose down? don't go THAT way!</i>)<br />
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(i do eventually become more sure of myself and from that place make decisions and take action and there is much less second-guessing about my choices.)<br />
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so this card felt more than a little significant. as i slowly winded around the path i read the words over and over and over.<br />
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<i>i release the need to know all the answers. </i></div>
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<i>i release the need to know </i><i>all the answers. </i><br />
<i>i release the need </i><br />
<i>to know </i><br />
<i>all the answers. </i><br />
<i>i release </i><i>the need to know </i><i>all the answers. </i><br />
<i>i release...</i></div>
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<i> i release...</i></div>
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the world slowed, my heart raced a little less, my shoulders felt softer, my breathing deepened.<br />
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i reached a point on the path where a table had been set up. on that table sits a statue of Jesus and when i got to it, i paused and took a moment to just take another deep breath. i left the card on the table and walked on.</div>
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i kept repeating the words silently to myself. </div>
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<i>i </i></div>
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<i>release </i></div>
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<i>the </i></div>
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<i>need </i></div>
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<i>to </i></div>
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<i>know </i></div>
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<i>all </i></div>
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<i>the </i></div>
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<i>answers.</i></div>
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a few twists and turns later i came across another card that i felt prompted to pick up.<br />
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<b>happiness</b>. </div>
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a word i was taught to be suspicious of but i'm learning to trust more and more as a Guiding Light for my life so finding it there today was such a smile from Heaven for me. <i>i am aware that being happy means that i am on the right path.</i></div>
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not that long ago i would've rolled my eyes so hard and judged the life right out of those words. and i would've MISSED it. </div>
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i read from a dear girl i follow online - <i>trust what lights you up!</i> </div>
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i often remind myself that my heart is good. my body is good. my God is good. i can trust them all. i will make mistakes, which are really just opportunities for growth, but i will not be led astray. </div>
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i trust that in his infinite wisdom God gave us the emotion of happiness to guide us. i can follow my bliss.<br />
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i've had to learn, and am still learning, to <i>give myself permission</i>. i don't need it from you. i mean that in the softest way.</div>
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i haven't always had the courage to follow happiness and bliss but i do more and more these days and i can do it without knowing all the answers. (who can know them all anyway)</div>
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i can make room for both: the <b>doubt</b> and the <b>happiness</b>.</div>
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i can live into the <i>mystery</i> of life,</div>
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with reverence </div>
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</i> <i>and </i>questions </div>
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</i> <i>and</i> playfulness </div>
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</i> <i>and</i> joy.</div>
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i can let there be room for it all.<br />
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the glory of God is man fully alive.<br />
ireaneus</div>
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-58373475463561194612018-08-25T08:02:00.000-05:002018-08-25T08:02:19.524-05:00church trends<div style="text-align: center;">
<img alt="Image result for god" height="356" src="https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcS6-q0c6mySZ1q0OS5LL64lQFELj9vVdIrlzZ_DdqdgcthlAt_d" width="640" /><br />
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">at its most basic level, the everyday practice of being with other people is the practice of loving the neighbor as the self. more intricately, it is the practice of coming face-to-face with another human being, preferably someone different enough to qualify as a capital “O” Other - and at least entertaining the possibility that this is one of the faces of God. </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">barbara brown taylor</span> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>an altar in the world</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i shared this thought on facebook yesterday.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i'm reading <a href="https://barbarabrowntaylor.com/barbara-brown-taylor/books/" target="_blank">this book</a> and have completely fallen for the author. her diction is breathtaking, which is so enjoyable! (where my word nerds at?!) but her subject matter is what really has me by the heart. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">anyway,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">one of my favorite things to do is go for a walk with my bestie. what tangles we have worked out by the simple act of walking! we joke that it's therapy for us, but we're only half joking. it is every bit a healing, spiritual practice. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">this morning, in the blazing sun, we got to talking about this quote.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">our little community is an uproar over an upcoming event at a local library. </span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i've gotten lots of call-to-action type messages. </span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">so much of what i read and heard activated an away state in my brain.</span></span></div>
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<h2 class="title" style="background-color: white; border-bottom-color: rgb(226, 226, 226); border-bottom-style: solid; border-image: initial; border-left-color: initial; border-left-style: initial; border-right-color: initial; border-right-style: initial; border-top-color: rgb(226, 226, 226); border-top-style: solid; border-width: 3px 0px 1px; font-family: Arial; font-size: 25px; font-stretch: normal; font-variant-east-asian: normal; font-variant-numeric: normal; letter-spacing: -0.05em; line-height: normal; margin: 0px; outline: 0px; padding: 5px 0px; vertical-align: baseline;">
Drag Queen Story Time</h2>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica"; font-size: 12px;">Join us for an afternoon of books, songs, and activities led by drag queens from UL Lafayette’s Delta Lambda Phi chapter. Recommended for Ages 3 – 6 and their families.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #505050; font-family: "arial" , "helvetica"; font-size: 12px;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">there was another event recently that created a bit of a stir, too. Jen Hatmaker had shared some thoughts and photos on her facebook page about her little church going out to the Austin Pride Parade to extend their arms in love and give out free hugs to anyone who wanted one. mom hugs. dad hugs. pastor hugs.</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">she says,</span></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">our arms were never empty. we "happy hugged" a ton of folks, but dozens of times, i'd spot someone in the parade look our way, squint at our shirts and posters, and RACE into our arms. they were the dear hearts that said,</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"i miss this."</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"my mom doesn't love me anymore."</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"my dad hasn't spoken to me in three years."</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">"please just one more hug."</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">you can only imagine what "pastor hugs" did to folks. so we told them over and over that they were impossibly loved and needed and precious. and we hugged until our arms fell off. this is what we are doing here. what we are here for.</span></i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;"><i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">that did something to me. this my brain activates and leans toward.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i later saw a prominent leader in a large church in america say something along the lines of never attending something in celebration of sin like that for any reason.</span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">for any reason? </span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">there goes my brain, away again.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">they weren't throwing beads. they were being the arms of Someone who Loves them.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">louisiana family forum sent out an urgent newsletter about story time: <em style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">From Bathrooms to Libraries! </em><span style="background-color: white; text-align: center;">(because if you don't know there was a bathroom battle not long ago - you can look it up it you want to know more.)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><em style="background-color: white; text-align: center;"><br /></em></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">are we really holding those as the same thing? because that feels like a stretch to me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and i just... i don't know, y'all...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i don't think it's as clear cut and tidy as we would like it to be.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">so we're walking, </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and we're talking,</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and i thought about how all throughout church history there have been generations or whatever - these blocks of time where certain issues were the most prominent issue of the day.</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">remember when 19th century Christians believed the bible endorsed slavery? </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">what about when folks thought segregation was scriptural, that integration was offensive to God?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">or that women were personal property, just above that of a slave in her husband's house. or women not having the right to vote?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>"when people say, 'i just take the bible as it is, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>it means that they are unaware </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>that they are reading the text through </i></span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">thick lenses </i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>of culture, language, opinion, </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>politics, theological background, etc. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><i>and it's how we end up unwittingly making the bible do our bidding."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><i>brian zahnd</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">for every cause in past 'culture wars' there were bible verses to "support" it because as it turns out, we can almost always find what we're looking for, if like a diamond, we turn the bible just so and look through those thick lenses.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">are we taking a stand against culture, and unwittingly using our own cultural interpretation of scripture to do it? to fit our own agenda?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">the bible doesn't change. and God is the same yesterday, today, tomorrow, forever. but the church trends.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">homosexuality feels to me like our day's leprosy. they're our untouchables. how many of us have glitter on our faces because we spent ourselves face-to-face giving love to people who feel incredibly rejected and unlovable.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i don't. i wasn't there that day in Austin. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">but i wish i had been.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i'm not arguing against the bible.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i'm saying what if our interpretation isn't as flawless as we think?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">even if it is sin... </span><span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">what about this: what about sinners in the hands of a loving God? isn't it God's kindness that continually leads us all into repentance anyway?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">we all have a bias.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">are we really protecting in love? or are we just terrified of things that are different from us? we are so easily threatened. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: verdana, sans-serif;">i'll be honest, when i first heard of the event, i was taken aback by the age because they are so young. and having been in the church for 18 years i already know the very loud response to that. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">indoctrination! </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">agenda! </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">but what if it's not... </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">what if we suspend judgment for just a moment and open ourselves to another possibility? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i don't know what books will be read that day at the library. it may be a book about Clifford the Big Red Dog or a book about a girl who got bullied because she has freckles and learns how to love her sweet face and her freckles in spite of her experience. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and i'm totally making an assumption here because i don't personally know a single one of those souls who will be presenting that day (if the event is not cancelled by then), but this is what came to me when i thought about "but why so young?"</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">if they're reading Harold and the Purple Crayon, does it even matter. </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">maybe they just want to dress up and have fun and bring delight to some little ones. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">but if the books are geared toward growing up LGBTQ, is it possible that their <i>intentions</i> can still be pure? </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">maybe they want to help the best way they know how? and maybe this sounds flipped and crazy to you, but what if what they want to do is protect kids from hating themselves and wanting to die because they didn't know how to love themselves as they are today. could it be that they're looking out for others like them, hoping to catch them <i>before</i> they want to kill themselves or attempt to because they haven't felt accepted in years? </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">maybe they've been so deeply wounded by other people's judgments and rejection and abandonment and betrayal that they want other kids to know now that </span><i style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">some</i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">one loves them just as they are. </span></div>
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<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and maybe, </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">just maybe,</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">the love of God can come through a drag queen</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">to reach the heart of a person</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">that the church has missed or may never meet.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">can we be kind and curious and compassionate - especially when we don't understand? especially when we're terrified? when someone is Other, and let the working out of whatever that thing is be between them and God?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i mean, how many times have we gotten it wrong in our own lives?</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">these are just my questions and thoughts, y'all. i don't have it all figured out.</span></i></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">but here's kind of the crux of it for me.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">there is only fear and love.</span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and i am so tired of being so afraid.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">afraid of getting it wrong. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">afraid of the wrong influence. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">wrong turns, </span><span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">whatever those are, as if God has no experience in steering a sheep.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">afraid of fumbling and bumbling along and getting lost as i work out my own faith (as if there is another way to do this thing).</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">afraid of falling on the wrong side of God. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">afraid of not being perfect.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">afraid of falling on the wrong side of you and your opinion and what that might cost me or my children: fitting in. belonging. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">but i cannot breathe in that box.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and i believe Graham Cooke when he says that the will of God is not a tightrope. it is a broad, green pasture.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">i have to believe there is room to explore. there is room to fall. there is room to get it wrong. and to roll in the grass and enjoy the journey. there is room to BREATHE.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">am i scared? hell yes i'm scared.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">but i'm also frustrated. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;">and more than that, i am determined to live <a href="https://www.beaboveleadership.com/" target="_blank">above the line</a>, and at least for this moment, to step over into courage.</span><br />
<br /></div>
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<span style="font-family: "verdana" , sans-serif;"><br /></span></div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><img alt="Image result for be above the line ann betz" height="400" src="https://www.beaboveleadership.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/SevenLevels-poster-image.jpg" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;" width="300" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Levels of Effectiveness, via <a href="https://www.beaboveleadership.com/" target="_blank">Ann Betz</a><br />
If you don't know about Ann, look her up! She's fantastic and humble and brilliant and so kind.</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-24285733775771461172013-06-06T11:45:00.000-05:002017-02-16T09:54:31.112-06:00a boy babywell it turns out this baby is indeed a boy baby.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-623H_gF4078/UbC8C5nVwiI/AAAAAAAACok/XM-HrhwgPTk/s1600/IMG_6634.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-623H_gF4078/UbC8C5nVwiI/AAAAAAAACok/XM-HrhwgPTk/s320/IMG_6634.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><br />
wait, let me back up.<br />
<br />
the morning after i wrote my last post, i woke up completely blindsided by my own feelings of disappointment. deep disappointment. i cried. i cried not because i reallllly wanted a girl, but because i felt frustrated and confused, and i cried because i felt so sad. i've never had a gender preference. i guess leading off with a boy and then a girl erased any pressure that might arise from "needing" to have one or the other. <br />
<br />
but you know how you can feel <i>so certain</i> about something, <i>so sure</i> that your assessment is right?<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">have you ever been there?<br />
<br />
it can leave you feeling shipwrecked. <br />
<br />
totally lost in your own mind.</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="text-align: center;">where <i>what you think you know</i> about a situation (so cocksure) can cast doubt and make you question what moments before <i>you knew</i> to be true about God?</div><br />
nothing could move me from my position that i <i>knew</i> that this baby would be a girl. we've since had another ultrasound and this is definitely, most assuredly with evidence to prove it, a baby boy. a month passed between the last two sonograms, and i needed that month. i needed the time to make peace with the possibility that i was wrong. i needed time to learn to love the idea of it being a boy, and to lick my wounds over being wrong. do you know how many people i told that it was a girl and i just knew it? my pride was hurt. my ego was limping. i needed that month to get over myself.<br />
<br />
it's so funny because "theologically" i don't think God is the kind of person that tricks people, that He would take any pleasure in doing that and then watching me wrestle with the disappointment. but sometimes what you walk through reveals what you really believe, and i guess it means there are shadowy corners of my heart that think, "well, maybe... maybe He would do that." i have much to learn of the nature of God. still. i have much to correct to right my thoughts. and situations like this are perfect proving ground.<br />
<br />
i'm still not entirely sure what all of that meant but it is clear that i jumped to conclusions about what i <i>knew</i> God was doing and saying, and i know that Hell would like for me to believe that i do not, in fact, hear from God, that i do not, in fact, know His voice. but i reject that. i'll have none of that. i will not allow Hell to (again) use my own lapse in judgment to paralyze me, preserving me here in this place, causing me to put roots down here... immobilizing me from moving forward, from growing out of this place.<br />
<br />
i have purposed this year to get to know better who God is and who He is <i>for me</i>. i will not allow Hell to take that from me because of my own false reading of a situation. i am open to being wrong about that and then asking God in curiosity, "then what did all of that mean? what did i miss? i know You meant something by it. what was it?"<br />
<br />
and if i go into it and get wrong ideas again i know that He is gracious and kind enough to correct me until i can see the truth of what He meant by it all.<br />
<br />
a small seed of doubt has killed my faith before. a small seed of doubt can do that. but a small seed of faith can move this mountain, so i can embrace what it is that God is actually doing in this moment. i choose Him over my wrong idea of Him. and i choose to embrace this sweet boy because of who he is. i will not reject him over my own wrong thinking. he deserves Love and he shall have it.<br />
<br />
p.s.: eden is holding up just fine. i think she's adjusting, too. her only requirement is that i have another baby. i'm not opposed.<br />
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-72636391367908268152013-04-10T13:04:00.000-05:002013-04-10T13:53:03.635-05:00the God of disappointment?when we first told the kids that we would soon have a new baby in the house, eden was the most excited. sitting on the couch, curled up next to the arm, she sat up straighter and smashed her hands together real tight. i wish you could've seen her. "<i>REALLY</i>?!", she said, beaming. then she fell onto the arm all dramatic like and said, "<i>i'm so happy!!!</i>" we all smiled with her. and then she said, "i've been praying every night for a sister!"<br />
<br />
today we had a sonogram. i'm 17 weeks along, and although we couldn't really get a good shot of this fantastic little marvel (there was so much squirming going on!), there was some indication that this baby is a boy.<br />
<br />
i'm going to need another sonogram in a few weeks to be convinced. <i>so many things</i> pointed to this being a girl. things like:<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>i've had a name in mind for years. in some of the healing work i've been doing, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>God has been dealing with some 'girl' issues, some of which are mother/daughter things... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>things that are difficult to articulate, but those things</i><i> finally</i><i> made the name make sense. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i> at first i just liked it because it's pretty. but now i understand... </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
but today, i am so flummoxed.</div>
<br />
this is what i know: when i saw those two lines on that pregnancy test, i immediately felt like, "it's a girl. i just know it." i started called her by name that day. only a girl baby made any sense at all to me. (even still...)<br />
<br />
and then eden's prayer...<br />
<br />
i've said from the beginning that i don't need it to be either. i never have hoped for one over the other but today, looking at that screen, i felt confused. and i felt sad. i LOVE boys. i love HAVING boys. they are fantastic little creatures and i am entirely smitten with them. so my sadness was not over my own disappointment.<br />
<br />
it was for eden. when we were walking back out to the car, she said, "it's not fair."<br />
<br />
we got about a block down the street and i saw her begin to retract. curled up the front seat, her face fell, and then her tears. it was so hard to watch, and i had no words to console her. i reached out and rubbed her arm, i told her it was okay to be disappointed, and that we weren't really sure yet. a child's faith is such a fragile thing and it hurt me to see her struggle this way. i know that God is not a vending machine and we don't get everything we ask for but she was the only one who cared either way what we had. she's asked me for years, <b>years</b>... "mama, please can i have a baby sister?" <br />
<br />
i don't want this to be the beginning of her thinking <i>prayers don't work, God doesn't care, He isn't dependable, faith is stupid. </i><br />
<br />
those lies are hard to come back from. i know, because i remember when my heart turned the same corner. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
i want to make this easier for her... i want to fix it... but i don't know what to say. all i have is a prayer. <i>God, please... please help her.</i></div>
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<script src="http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-18956462972334410252013-03-24T13:59:00.000-05:002013-03-24T13:59:18.433-05:00more time, please.<div style="text-align: center;">
a few months ago, all the kids needed new undies. (they'll love me for sharing that someday.) standing there looking at the character underwear, i ask noah which ones he wants. i could see he was standing back a little from the rack and when i asked he was like, "um, can i just get plain ones? i'm not really into the character ones anymore." and just like that, at nine years old, he crossed over. </div>
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no warning. </div>
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no heads up so i could prepare my heart, and standing there in the aisle i felt the squeeze of the going away. </div>
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it steals your breath. it does.</div>
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+ + + + + + +</div>
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this week, i walked into my room, to put myself to bed. when i opened the door there was a box resting between my pillow and danny's. </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pX_qMqcGezU/UU9GrqVruhI/AAAAAAAACmk/qWiU4jUnMnQ/s1600/IMG_5960.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pX_qMqcGezU/UU9GrqVruhI/AAAAAAAACmk/qWiU4jUnMnQ/s320/IMG_5960.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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(there was also a little zipper pouch addressed to me, filled with dried rose petals.)</div>
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the box was addressed:</div>
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<i>mom and dad</i>, not <i>mama and daddy</i>. </div>
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nothing could prepare me for what it contained.</div>
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i opened the box, and my heart lay inside.</div>
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she put my heart in a box.</div>
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this monkey has been her favorite stuffed animal for years. she fell in love with it when she first laid eyes on it. it has been her Velveteen Rabbit. Monkey and Bugs (her blanket) have gone everywhere with us. </div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jAUsZb0nmwU/UU9Kht-qqpI/AAAAAAAACnE/CWxIZWDkJMw/s1600/Eden10.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="237" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jAUsZb0nmwU/UU9Kht-qqpI/AAAAAAAACnE/CWxIZWDkJMw/s320/Eden10.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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i walked into her room, holding Monkey, and said, "you're done with Monkey?" "yeah", she said. </div>
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just like that. eight years old.</div>
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i said, "ok, now listen, you can't do that with Bugs next week, okay? i can't handle that." to which she responded by shoving her unraveling, tattered blanket under her covers to signify that she wasn't giving it up any time soon.</div>
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naturally, i've spent the last two nights with my fingers wrapped around Monkey. she may be able to let her go, but i'm not ready yet.</div>
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i'm going to need more time.</div>
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<a class="pin-it-button" count-layout="horizontal" href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/">Pin It</a>
<script src="http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script></div>
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-4627133583115197652013-02-18T14:45:00.000-06:002013-02-18T14:45:15.778-06:00paint, chaos, and Bob Rossya'll. years ago i went through a huge rachel ashwell phase. HUGE. i mean, i wanted everything in my house to be white. white <i>walls</i>, white <i>trim</i>, i wanted every piece of furniture to be painted white, white <i>slip-covered duck cloth sofas</i>, white <i>painted floors</i> even, and white <i>candles</i>! lots and lots of white candles! i was drunk on The White.<br />
<br />
and then i became sort of bored with that idea before it ever materialized, so maybe i have to revoke my "HUGE" assessment, seeing as i never actually put it into practice and how can one be a real fanatic but only in her mind? <br />
<br />
anyway, i think it was the birthing of a couple kids, what deterred me. not only that, i never really could sell danny on it, and it was never in the budget to get rid of EVERYTHING we owned and start over. which is what i tend to want to do when i get a wild hair.<br />
<br />
as it stands, every room in our house is "colored" and i have really enjoyed that, but i'm beginning to feel a bit 'over it'. i'm not kidding when i say it makes my breathing tight and shallow. <br />
<br />
we painted the living room when i was last pregnant and it's this bold, yellow color that has been so much fun!<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iMCC9dDt-8s/USJmhzFJfqI/AAAAAAAACg4/bLRcoTCmOx0/s1600/IMG_5686.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-iMCC9dDt-8s/USJmhzFJfqI/AAAAAAAACg4/bLRcoTCmOx0/s320/IMG_5686.JPG" width="239" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">valspar | midnight bonfire</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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i've been looking at it now though for almost six years and my trigger finger is itchy. itchy, i say! enough already! all of a sudden it feels too dark. i'm feeling a little bit suffocated by it, and lo! what color would i want but <i>white</i>. life always circles back on itself, don't it. </div>
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i think the appeal right now is <i>simplicity</i>. </div>
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white feels...<br />
<i> simple</i>. </div>
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untroubled.</div>
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fresh. </div>
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bright. </div>
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the opposite of chaotic. </div>
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i need to create an environment in my color scheme that is not chaotic, to combat the internal chaos i'm feeling, of course (and also the impending external chaos that is to come). (how many times can i say chaos but i think you get the point.)<br />
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in my mind i have become a little bit <i>frank costanza</i>: <span style="text-align: center;">SERENITY NOW!</span></div>
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so here's what i'm thinking, somewhat...</div>
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the bright accent colors make me happy. so do the bright white walls.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1YeWv9wLjnM/USJi7oHSVKI/AAAAAAAACgk/22yeu9MVpHY/s1600/be8fde174a79925681b5da9c0a6130d2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1YeWv9wLjnM/USJi7oHSVKI/AAAAAAAACgk/22yeu9MVpHY/s400/be8fde174a79925681b5da9c0a6130d2.jpg" width="265" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">//<a href="http://smileandwave.typepad.com/blog/2013/01/a-little-cake-party.html" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
another with dark trim + floors, because that's what i'm working with...<br />
this one's a bit more creamy, but still very peaceful. (SERENITY NOW!)</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ciedWGL0IRU/USJkLmoCusI/AAAAAAAACgs/h1apPE9SYlQ/s1600/24aa3176f89b58bf76db0bd2f2a38b5e.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ciedWGL0IRU/USJkLmoCusI/AAAAAAAACgs/h1apPE9SYlQ/s400/24aa3176f89b58bf76db0bd2f2a38b5e.jpg" width="261" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">//<a href="http://fortheloveofahouse.blogspot.com/2011/05/master-bath.html" target="_blank">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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white feels so open, doesn't it? so spacious, and i am feeling the need for SPACE. even just the illusion of space is fine by me! add in a little color in other places, i.e.: new curtains, a rug on the floor, new throw pillows for the couch... and i'll breathe easier than julie andrews, twirling in a Bob Ross painting. <br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q2z-9Ww2NxA/USKR9-1Ts1I/AAAAAAAACjU/Qny4EA7Lc8Y/s1600/Sound_of-Music_610_407shar_s_c1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="266" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-q2z-9Ww2NxA/USKR9-1Ts1I/AAAAAAAACjU/Qny4EA7Lc8Y/s400/Sound_of-Music_610_407shar_s_c1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
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<script src="http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-13095748184851277692013-02-11T14:30:00.001-06:002013-02-12T16:12:49.208-06:00tired + bossy. it's like i'm a teenager all over again.sweet mother of pearl, i think i had forgotten the suffering of the first trimester. i keep trying to do stuff (bathe, brush my teeth, empty the sink, feed someone) and then ending up back on the couch or sleeping in my bed, lambasted. i can barely make it to mid-day without sleeping at some point, and THAT after staying in bed 'til 9, so.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oCvoXuG7IKQ/URqPp7rw7YI/AAAAAAAACb8/fmw849xkY_c/s1600/264fdc7ecdc5912878318c039f28fe4d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oCvoXuG7IKQ/URqPp7rw7YI/AAAAAAAACb8/fmw849xkY_c/s1600/264fdc7ecdc5912878318c039f28fe4d.jpg" /></a></div>
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d calls throughout the day to check in on us and even the shortest of conversations is exhausting to me. the simple act of vocalizing, insufferable. i am delightful.<br />
<br />
we should've told everyone sooner about the pregnancy, like maybe the day we found out about it. yeah, that's the day we should've gone public because then when i say that i'm happy about it people might actually believe me.</div>
<br />
right now i get a quizzical look. <i>'oh, wow... congratulations. are y'all excited? i mean, how do y'all feel about it?'</i> i know their confusion is because of my face. <br />
<br />
well, it's not exactly incontrovertible. my face, that is.<br />
<br />
i will say this though (and i hope it lasts): i haven't had any real strong food aversions. i remember being pregnant with noah and not being able to handle chicken on the bone. disgust. i cooked it once and let it stay too long in the crockpot. by dinnertime the crockpot was filled with shredded chicken and bones. consequently, i couldn't eat chicken til long after he was born. i could barely <i>say</i> <i>chicken</i> without my stomach rising to greet me.<br />
<br />
the food <i>cravings</i>, though, they are pretty bossy. <i>give me a burger and fries right now. and a coke! move it or lose it, sister! </i>very bossy. and not very health-conscious, either.<br />
<br />
the love will return, i know it will, but if it follows the course it always has, it'll arrive magically at the beginning of the second trimester. oh dear sweet baby moses, please don't follow that course. come quickly, magic! show me the meaning of haste! and bring me a coke!<br />
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<script src="http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript"></script>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-52514733657142069682012-07-22T14:23:00.002-05:002012-07-22T14:24:12.841-05:00what's really going on<div style="text-align: center;">
i thought i might take some time today to let you all in on a lil' secret. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
//my house does not look like my pinboards.//</div>
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it's true.</div>
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it's true. </div>
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in the event that you started comparing your behind-the-scenes to my highlight reel, let me show rather than tell you what i mean.... </div>
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my pinterest kitchen goes something like this:</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QcfvLII0kno/UAxNKvbA_OI/AAAAAAAACY4/TuoIyhrKcDg/s1600/29836416251289488_zpphEfEH_f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QcfvLII0kno/UAxNKvbA_OI/AAAAAAAACY4/TuoIyhrKcDg/s320/29836416251289488_zpphEfEH_f.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(<a href="http://www.bhg.com/kitchen/island/island-design-ideas/?rb=Y#page=8" target="_blank">source</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
my <i>actual</i> kitchen looks like this today: </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m_QEKUS1Aw8/UAxJUtnoqsI/AAAAAAAACYU/0-Vt_ytJtpA/s1600/IMG_2684.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m_QEKUS1Aw8/UAxJUtnoqsI/AAAAAAAACYU/0-Vt_ytJtpA/s320/IMG_2684.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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i dare you to find the countertop.</div>
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it's running over with crap that doesn't "live" there.</div>
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drawers open, fruit and beverages strewn about all willy-nilly, leftovers from lunch, school books for myself and the kids, large appliances waiting for me to figure out where to put them.... </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cllOeDC0gT8/UAxJVfloamI/AAAAAAAACYc/bj2T_Kgq5KA/s1600/IMG_2685.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cllOeDC0gT8/UAxJVfloamI/AAAAAAAACYc/bj2T_Kgq5KA/s320/IMG_2685.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
on your right you will find juice and coffee stains (always), sinks overflowing like too much pudding in a too-small bowl, opened cookie packages from a moment of weakness last night (okay, and this morning), dish towels and store bags on the floor, and that ain't all.</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uRF8pfAYhv4/UAxJV-QztOI/AAAAAAAACYk/Bkc-ErXx7Qk/s1600/IMG_2686.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-uRF8pfAYhv4/UAxJV-QztOI/AAAAAAAACYk/Bkc-ErXx7Qk/s320/IMG_2686.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
a little further in and you'll find our beautiful dinner table sprawling with school supplies and half-eaten lunch bowls; art supplies, toys and paper scraps. </div>
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next up, living room. </div>
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pinterest living room:</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nEm-9TZuja0/UAxOITPnYHI/AAAAAAAACZA/h8GkTXnAYF4/s1600/72057662757634216_8SwYqVYc_f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-nEm-9TZuja0/UAxOITPnYHI/AAAAAAAACZA/h8GkTXnAYF4/s320/72057662757634216_8SwYqVYc_f.jpg" width="217" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(<a href="http://eclecticrevisited.com/page/3/" target="_blank">source</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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my <i>actual</i> living room:</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XLHzVM7KyqU/UAxJWQdVfeI/AAAAAAAACYs/EqCHPdGkmpM/s1600/IMG_2687.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XLHzVM7KyqU/UAxJWQdVfeI/AAAAAAAACYs/EqCHPdGkmpM/s320/IMG_2687.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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a little off the left of the kitchen, our living room is booby trapped with small lego pieces and pet shops. </div>
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in short, the house is filled with ransackery... and these are only the front rooms, minus the laundry room. i just don't even have the guts to go there.</div>
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okay fine, i've come this far. i won't punk out.</div>
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<i>(shame spiral kickin' into overdrive)</i> </div>
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i swear, the things i do for you people.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1mGGLlVxOVM/UAxRaurkM2I/AAAAAAAACZY/wSlpjd_sD9c/s1600/IMG_2688.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1mGGLlVxOVM/UAxRaurkM2I/AAAAAAAACZY/wSlpjd_sD9c/s320/IMG_2688.JPG" width="320" /></a> </div>
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pinterest laundry room:</div>
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the difference is barely noticeable, right? </div>
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it's the same room, just taken from a different angle.</div>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jnq1e_vMcZ0/UAxOnFbrPTI/AAAAAAAACZI/4zLQjo9x--M/s1600/95842298289914361_1uQKRY88_f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jnq1e_vMcZ0/UAxOnFbrPTI/AAAAAAAACZI/4zLQjo9x--M/s320/95842298289914361_1uQKRY88_f.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">(<a href="http://theinspiredroom.net/2010/08/11/farmhouse-laundry-room/" target="_blank">source</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
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okay, okay.</div>
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</div>
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that's all my pride can handle today.</div>
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i'm off to find these girls:</div>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fke3K5QMtsE/UAxO_Q8DLAI/AAAAAAAACZQ/8VBD3HvKwnE/s1600/ClickHandler.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="226" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fke3K5QMtsE/UAxO_Q8DLAI/AAAAAAAACZQ/8VBD3HvKwnE/s320/ClickHandler.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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wish me luck.</div>
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(i'm gonna need it.)</div>
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<a class="pin-it-button" count-layout="horizontal" href="http://pinterest.com/pin/create/button/">Pin It</a> <script src="http://assets.pinterest.com/js/pinit.js" type="text/javascript">
</script>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-10016117677377362552012-04-23T14:29:00.001-05:002012-04-24T14:57:23.194-05:00//pentatonix | somebody that i used to know<div style="text-align: center;">
pentatonix, if you don't know, is an a cappella group. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
everything that you hear is them vocalizing. </div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="271" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hOKuAigsrec" width="475"></iframe><br />
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so good it's bad.<br />
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like the kids use it, capeesh? </div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
compare with the <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8UVNT4wvIGY" target="_blank">original</a>.<br />
disclaimer:<br />
there is some bareness in this video. it doesn't actually "show" anything, but there is skin, so. Now you know.<br />
<br />
this video though, the facial expressions, the body language... it is exceptionally well done.<br />
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<br />Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-61847665247005710702012-04-11T14:45:00.000-05:002012-04-21T22:36:25.394-05:00{april} 10x10...and i quote: "<span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; font-family: Georgia,serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 20px;">This is what 10 on 10 is about: <span style="font-style: italic;">Take
a photo every hour for ten consecutive hours on the tenth of each
month. Document a day of your life and find beauty among the ordinary
moments. Then share your beauty with us! "</span></span></span><br />
<br />
consecutive. psh. <br />
<br />
before i even set out, let's let the cat out the bag, shall we? i did not take photos every hour. i started at almost 2 in the afternoon so i had to cram.<br />
<br />
typically, you're supposed to do this every month. <i> oh look, do i see another cat wiggling its way out? </i> i probably won't do this every month. right now it seems like a good idea and i (sorta) have the time for it. next month may be another story <i>entire</i>. (meaning, i will forget about this and therefore be as inconsistent as ever.)<br />
<br />
these are snapshots of my day (and night).... i did not follow the rules (as i am wont to do) so while it is not exhaustive, it is <i>accurate</i>.<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #134f5c; font-size: x-large;">01. banana bread</span> </span></div>
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...for dessert after bible study for stretch.</div>
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it is delicious.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6i5ZfXBJ2JY/T4WareoLVoI/AAAAAAAACUU/b8Wzwx1Sf4g/s1600/IMG_0565.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6i5ZfXBJ2JY/T4WareoLVoI/AAAAAAAACUU/b8Wzwx1Sf4g/s320/IMG_0565.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">02. computer time</span> </div>
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...more than is wise because he is ill and i is tired. </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yXBZzzVI_aw/T4WavFKHTLI/AAAAAAAACUc/y2O4-LQoDhg/s1600/IMG_0576.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-yXBZzzVI_aw/T4WavFKHTLI/AAAAAAAACUc/y2O4-LQoDhg/s320/IMG_0576.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">03. the wild kratt's missing brother</span></div>
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... this boy loves The Nature. </div>
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that is a fake frog in his hand. he is not drowning The Nature. </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EAmdxs5580g/T4Waw0FH4II/AAAAAAAACUk/fYbKRjiHKvk/s1600/IMG_0578.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EAmdxs5580g/T4Waw0FH4II/AAAAAAAACUk/fYbKRjiHKvk/s320/IMG_0578.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #0c343d;">04. i left for the store and forgot my list at home</span></span> </span> </div>
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instead of turning around, i called home and had stretch dictate it to me.</div>
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and then i left that list in the car, but thankfully i'd had the foresight to snap this picture for this post and when i got into the store without the list (how many times can one list be forgotten?), i was all <i>eureka! the picture! </i> </div>
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i are genius.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JNTA4OA8NbY/T4Wa1-19j8I/AAAAAAAACUs/yf1VW52Y7UY/s1600/IMG_0585.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-JNTA4OA8NbY/T4Wa1-19j8I/AAAAAAAACUs/yf1VW52Y7UY/s320/IMG_0585.JPG" width="239" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">05. my very own 'deb'</span></div>
<br />
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<span style="font-size: large;"> </span>(napoleon dynamite reference). she has, much to my liking, learnt herself how to make her own side ponytail. observe:</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MplpXzXptCk/T4Wa4GPl5AI/AAAAAAAACU0/igi0bXKbqfE/s1600/IMG_0589.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MplpXzXptCk/T4Wa4GPl5AI/AAAAAAAACU0/igi0bXKbqfE/s320/IMG_0589.JPG" width="239" /></a><span style="font-size: large;"> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-large;">06. supper </span></div>
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because whatwith all the picture taking for this post, i had not the foresight to feed my children before we cleared out for the men's bible study, canes.</div>
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(i'm not even sure if that is correct sentax but i like the way it feels so, i approve.)</div>
<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ya4kf_RI9xU/T4Wa6m7rYtI/AAAAAAAACU8/B-R5sHvxvVo/s1600/IMG_0590.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ya4kf_RI9xU/T4Wa6m7rYtI/AAAAAAAACU8/B-R5sHvxvVo/s320/IMG_0590.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">07. library fail</span> </span></div>
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i (finally) returned a handful of things to the library. this is the back of one of the books... put me in mind of my whole library experience. maybe i should flush my card (and the kids' cards too, while i'm at it). #latefees #slackattack #procrastination #williteverend?</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vvjw8x-RDFg/T4Wa-3I5aQI/AAAAAAAACVU/JrTUTS5mP3Y/s1600/a54ea336836711e1be6a12313820455d_7.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-vvjw8x-RDFg/T4Wa-3I5aQI/AAAAAAAACVU/JrTUTS5mP3Y/s320/a54ea336836711e1be6a12313820455d_7.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">08. meet sammy</span></div>
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he gets us through many a bout of wheezing and many a sleepless night.</div>
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isn't he cute? he is a traveling seal; he goes from one end of the house to the other, following the sick child and offering his services. we would be lost without him.</div>
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whenever the little guy is ill, he'll cry between coughs, "i need sammy". </div>
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a friend in need is a friend indeed. </div>
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sammy is that friend.</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-webOORIAI2o/T4Wa-Mz53wI/AAAAAAAACVM/kqMF_JS_Gt0/s1600/IMG_0601.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-webOORIAI2o/T4Wa-Mz53wI/AAAAAAAACVM/kqMF_JS_Gt0/s320/IMG_0601.JPG" width="296" /></a></div>
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<span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">09. see this bed?</span></div>
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it's mine. mine. (well, and stretch's)</div>
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my littlest man-cub doesn't know what to call this bed. whenever he references it, he calls it "our" bed. see that blanket? that's "lightning mcqueen". it's not mine, nor is it stretches, yet it spends most nights in my bed, so i understand the boy's delusions.</div>
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<br /></div>
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let me ask you another question.</div>
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does that bed look "well rested", blankets tossed all hither and yon?</div>
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it is NOT well rested. that bed is tired.</div>
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zy0DqFYSUkg/T4Wa9IlteMI/AAAAAAAACVE/heNfLpQOEeI/s1600/IMG_0599.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-zy0DqFYSUkg/T4Wa9IlteMI/AAAAAAAACVE/heNfLpQOEeI/s320/IMG_0599.JPG" width="239" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="color: #0c343d; font-size: x-large;">10. wild thing, i think i love you</span></span></div>
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does this picture make you think "max! (where the wild things are)?</div>
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because that's exactly what it makes me think.</div>
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...and even though he makes me and my bed so tired, i love him so much, i might eat him all up.</div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;"><a border="0" href="http://www.rebekahgough.blogspot.com/" target="_blank"><img alt="ten on ten button small" border="0" src="http://i1116.photobucket.com/albums/k578/rebagough/Screenshot2010-10-11at31227PM.png" /></a></span></div>
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</script>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-83115879528948922622012-03-29T08:52:00.001-05:002012-03-29T09:30:40.827-05:00for less<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FbSTaHLWynQ/T3RoVkh2zaI/AAAAAAAACT8/cs5K6WkrB6Y/s1600/zygorguidespromocode.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="255" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-FbSTaHLWynQ/T3RoVkh2zaI/AAAAAAAACT8/cs5K6WkrB6Y/s320/zygorguidespromocode.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
i've recently introduced my children to the glories and wonders of The Discount Store (not to be confused with The Dollar Store... they've known that place for<i> ages</i>). they're always on the hunt for some way to spend their money and for a while, the big chain stores had their hearts.<br />
<br />
i was failing them as a mother.<br />
<br />
if i'm being honest, the reason i went in the first place to The Discount Store was so that <i>i</i> would have fun things to peruse while they took a painfully long time deciding on what they wanted... choosing this store made is less painful <i>for me</i>. <br />
<br />
one day though, as luck would have it, after walking out with a Legos Hero Factory Dude Thing (yes, that's what they're called)(no, not really) for half off the retail price, my eldest man cub realized he could get what he wants without blowing the whole wallet. the same toy, still just as cool, for <i>half</i> the price!<br />
<br />
i heard a bell ring from his belfry.<br />
<br />
'mama', he says, 'i don't understand... why does anybody pay full price for anything?!'<br />
<br />
waves of accomplishment washed over his bargain lovin' mama. i gave him a nod, my silent assent, and thought, <i>that's my boy</i>.<br />
<br />
economics... <b>boom</b>, graduated.<br />
<br />
<br />
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</script>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-3911918194849332102012-01-18T20:16:00.000-06:002012-01-21T19:47:23.739-06:00skepticalwhen we first became parents (God help us) we were like something akin to the taliban. it's true. we were fairly fresh from the new christian oven and we had some ideals, you hear me.<br />
<br />
i bet you knew people like us. or maybe you know them now. or maybe you were them. or are them. <br />
<br />
there were ways for things to be done and by george we were not gonna veer from that path. we were gonna do things <i>right</i>.<br />
<br />
Santa Claus, bless his heart, was not on the right path.<br />
<br />
being the fascists that we were, we wouldn't even entertain the idea because we couldn't enter the world of all the <i>lying</i> parents who <i>lied</i> to their children about Santa <i>(liars!) (and if they lie about that then who knows where the lying ends! First Santa then<b> tax fraud</b>?</i>)<br />
<br />
it was a slippery slope, so we decided that no, we would stay on the straight and narrow.<br />
<br />
so naturally, we told 'em from Jump Street that there was no Santa... that all of their gifts came from people who love them. <br />
<br />
after all, we didn't want them to learn later on that we had <i>lied</i> (like the serpent!) to them about Santa and then set them on the path of questioning <i>every other thing</i> we'd ever told them was true.<br />
<br />
i just knew it would end like this:<br />
<br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7S4sIiFtLuE/Txdw66zIucI/AAAAAAAACTo/2WYdar6l0dc/s1600/santa.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-7S4sIiFtLuE/Txdw66zIucI/AAAAAAAACTo/2WYdar6l0dc/s320/santa.png" width="271" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
because that's what would happen. right?<br />
<br />
of course we hadn't exaggerated the situation <i>at all.</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
----------</div>
<br />
this year though, our 8 year old decided we were wrong. he has a friend who told him he's seen Santa Claus and well, that was all the proof his little heart needed.<br />
<br />
Santa was (is) real.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
----------</div>
<br />
<br />
the reason for the change of heart? <br />
<br />
unicorns. <br />
<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_kUwIlHGitw/Txd4B9G0WzI/AAAAAAAACTw/mgQPTRrtG2c/s1600/4ud2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-_kUwIlHGitw/Txd4B9G0WzI/AAAAAAAACTw/mgQPTRrtG2c/s320/4ud2.jpg" width="246" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
it's because i believe in unicorns.<br />
<br />
he can't trust my judgment anymore. he questions my <i>good sense.</i><br />
<br />
he'd sooner believe in a man who can eat and drink more milk and cookies in one night than all the kids in day cares across america could eat in a week, than to believe in a <b>horse </b>(found in nature) <b>with a horn</b> (like a narwhal, also found in nature).<br />
<br />
at least his friend has <i>seen</i> Santa, which is more than i can say to back up my claims.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
wish me luck with the rest of parenting, y'all. </div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
seems i'm in over my head here.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">i should note, since there was some confusion with a friend about this post, that my belief in unicorns is that they existed in nature in the past... not the present. i just argue that they <i>were</i> real, not mythical. the end. </span></div>
</div>
<br />Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-54560684601657748342012-01-02T16:17:00.002-06:002012-01-02T16:17:26.203-06:00the year of do-overs<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-W48vRmWOYEQ/TwIb2kTLvjI/AAAAAAAACR0/a2skyZv8HkA/s1600/169588742187696754_eAp8MU22_c_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-W48vRmWOYEQ/TwIb2kTLvjI/AAAAAAAACR0/a2skyZv8HkA/s320/169588742187696754_eAp8MU22_c_large.jpg" width="213" /></a></div>
last year i began the practice of naming my year. <br />
<br />
this year, with january approaching too quickly (and now here) i just felt <b>heavy</b> with what was still left undone. or done poorly. i felt dissatisfied.<br />
embarrassed.<br />
ashamed.<br />
guilty. <br />
<br />
i felt very strongly what <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Geneen-Roth/e/B000APDO9O">geneen roth</a> <span style="font-size: x-small;">(you're gonna see that name alot today)</span> calls "the inclination to bolt".<br />
<br />
i didn't (don't) want the pressure of new resolutions.<br />
<br />
i've never liked them.<br />
<br />
they feel like another way to feel badly about myself.<br />
<br />
i am well practiced at regret, judging myself, at self-inflicted violence for things done. or not done. that is a well-worn groove.<br />
<br />
so i came across <a href="http://www.empoweringpotential.com/1/post/2011/12/who-else-wants-to-make-2012-fun-while-making-it-the-best-year-of-your-life.html">a few words</a> over the past few weeks that struck my heart and felt like, "this is the way, walk in it".<br />
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</div>
<br />
i'm naming this year <i>the year of do-overs</i>. i will add nothing new to my plate. i will take on no new goals. i will not keep things that imply "previous conditioning or beliefs or shoulds or have to's". the game of my life is not about <span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"people pleasing, needing to be liked, loved, accepted, or trying to belong or fit in. That game will not get [me] where [i] want to go..."<span style="font-size: x-small;">*</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">the thing i'm most purposing to do this year is <span style="font-size: large;">to inhabit my life</span>. i leave myself hundreds of times every day. <i>thousands maybe</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> surfing the net</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">pinning things to my ever-growing pin boards</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">talking on the phone</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">checking facebook</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">reading blogs</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">eating </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">all of those things are inherently harmless, but not when my motive it to disappear...</span></div>
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to leave myself when life gets too hard, because i don't have a solution to a problem i'm facing with my kids or my marriage</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to find comfort because life feels too hard and i don't want to notice what's going on</span></i><br />
<br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to distance myself from the way things are when they are not what i wish they would be</span></i><br />
<i><br /></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to quiet the voice in my head that says i'll never be better than i am... that i cannot change</span></i><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">my inclination to bolt is so strong, so fierce, so bossy --- and i usually answer that call with a hearty yes.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">'thank you for calling! i'll be right there!'</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">meanwhile, i am missing the life that happens</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> <span style="font-size: large;"><i>'in the middle zone - </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i>between now and what i think my life should be like. </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i>and when i miss those moments </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i>because i'd rather be doing something else, </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif";"><i>i am missing my own life.' </i></span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>(geneen roth, women food and god)</i></span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">this year though, i will keep coming back to myself. i will notice and return. i've been practicing it for a little while now, but only not so purposeful. i've seen it, but i've not faced it.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">this year, this is the year i really focus on waking up, to stay in the present moment. to find my breath <i>and to stay with it</i>.</span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2qHdtC__6Hk/TwInt94kDzI/AAAAAAAACTU/y8O66MR1gJU/s1600/tumblr_lvnc0sgcqd1r7d3q1o1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="238" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-2qHdtC__6Hk/TwInt94kDzI/AAAAAAAACTU/y8O66MR1gJU/s320/tumblr_lvnc0sgcqd1r7d3q1o1_500_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">in geneen roth's book, <i>women food and god</i>, she says, '<i>either you want to wake up or you want to go to sleep. </i></span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><i>you either want to live or you want to die</i>.</span><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">' </span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">for so long, i've just wanted to sleep, to not wake up: to myself, to my life, because it just seemed </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">too hard. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">too much. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">too scary.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">i was afraid that what i awoke to would destroy me. at least in my slumber i couldn't really face the fact that sleep was destruction too, <i>and more so</i>.</span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">so my do-over represents that... another chance to wake up, again and again and again.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to come back to myself, over and over and over.</span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">another chance to live in my body, to inhabit my life, <span style="font-size: large;">the life i've chosen. </span></span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">another chance to look behind the doors of what's 'not working' with curiosity instead of judgement.</span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PRC0TKc2Gyw/TwIjp-XRv2I/AAAAAAAACS8/XeRykQY3YKM/s1600/untitled-91qi1ozfp-199921-320-453_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PRC0TKc2Gyw/TwIjp-XRv2I/AAAAAAAACS8/XeRykQY3YKM/s320/untitled-91qi1ozfp-199921-320-453_large.jpg" width="226" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"> </span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to not miss what mary oliver calls this 'one wild and precious life'. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">"you already have everything you need to be content. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">your real work is to do whatever it takes to realize that." <span style="font-size: x-small;"> </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">geneen roth</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">all of the ways i run from myself, and go to sleep, and disappear, <b>they are robbing me</b>.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><br />
</span><br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: large;">and denying that fact does not make it less so. </span></span><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">so, i'm not taking on a new health goal, or a new spiritual goal, or a new financial goal or any of that. </span></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">i'm not making a to-do list except for this one thing: </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;">to not limit myself by thinking i'm not ready for my life. </span></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K-6mu0NOQJI/TwIj2nj37PI/AAAAAAAACTI/fX6K6WV0gBY/s1600/alice-in-wonderland-curious-door-girl-key-Favim.com-114783_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-K-6mu0NOQJI/TwIj2nj37PI/AAAAAAAACTI/fX6K6WV0gBY/s320/alice-in-wonderland-curious-door-girl-key-Favim.com-114783_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12pt;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">*excerpted from <a href="http://www.empoweringpotential.com/1/post/2011/12/who-else-wants-to-make-2012-fun-while-making-it-the-best-year-of-your-life.html">empowering potential</a> </span></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br /></div>
</div>
</div>
</div>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-26054737968166743262011-12-23T14:13:00.002-06:002011-12-23T14:13:55.407-06:00from ours to yours<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MfjexkFwf1o/TvTg82oKCSI/AAAAAAAACRU/GSYEhfeNnR8/s1600/Dardeau+Nov+2011.++32+picnik.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="267" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-MfjexkFwf1o/TvTg82oKCSI/AAAAAAAACRU/GSYEhfeNnR8/s400/Dardeau+Nov+2011.++32+picnik.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-67743437301553978022011-12-08T11:05:00.001-06:002011-12-08T12:10:17.368-06:00winning gift guide 2011<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
for all you last minute shoppers, like myself, here are a few ideas for the hard-to-buy-for people on your list. don't despair, help is here!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
before we begin, let me just go ahead and offer up my preemptive "you're welcome" to save myself the time later. because later, i ought to be shopping.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>should</i> be.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>ought</i> to be.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
we'll see if that actually happens.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
now that i have this list compiled though, it should make that easier. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #999999;">-1- </span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #999999;">crochet shorts, winning at losing</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
there just aren't enough of these in rotation, you know? </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
when was the last time you saw a pair? even the caption says "poorlydressed dot com". see? and this is what i'm saying to you. the state of this world <i>concerns</i> me, whatwith its blatant and absolute disregard for this issue. yes, yes, the world needs love and let's spread the love but can we also (i beg you) spread the crochet shorts, too? help your loved one WIN at LOSING. help them to be the best loser!</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eZZHy03dxZs/TuDvm8S5JLI/AAAAAAAACO8/w6HpDJpxlr0/s1600/95842298289589723_xarPaaI2_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-eZZHy03dxZs/TuDvm8S5JLI/AAAAAAAACO8/w6HpDJpxlr0/s320/95842298289589723_xarPaaI2_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="color: #999999; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">-2-</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">the candwich, winning at advance planning</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
for all your on-the-go buddies who cannot trifle with silly butter knives and other such trivialities. each can comes with "a candy surprise (it's Laffy Taffy - surprise!)". they have a 1-year shelf life so you could buy a year supply -- and wouldn't it be cool to have that auto-shipped, one month supply at a time, to their door -- imagine their surprise! and that's <i>before</i> they find the Taffy!</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--bChNmPGmbI/TuDx8frWKPI/AAAAAAAACPM/IQjtWcYamWU/s1600/e9ed_candwich.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--bChNmPGmbI/TuDx8frWKPI/AAAAAAAACPM/IQjtWcYamWU/s1600/e9ed_candwich.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.thinkgeek.com/caffeine/wacky-edibles/e9ed/?pfm=Search&t=candwich">//source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="color: #999999; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">-3-</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">chain mail dice bag, winning at safety</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
to go along with <a href="http://velourblog.blogspot.com/2010/12/gift-guide-they-probably-dont-have-this.html">last years' shirt</a>, of course. complete the ensemble and protect his-slash-her dice at the same time. those dice will feel very safe and really, it just shows that you care.</div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SmlCe0S_ukk/TuDyfz3WxCI/AAAAAAAACPU/z_6cD95skhY/s1600/d562_chain_mail_dice_bag_wearing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SmlCe0S_ukk/TuDyfz3WxCI/AAAAAAAACPU/z_6cD95skhY/s320/d562_chain_mail_dice_bag_wearing.jpg" width="243" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.thinkgeek.com/geektoys/games/d562/images/8298/">//source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="color: #999999; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">-4-</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #999999;">captain america hoodie, winning at patriotism</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
you probably already bought one like this, but i'm posting it anyway, just in case. better safe than sorry. </div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: left;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3pL_Ub1Mf_E/TuDz9CoMs9I/AAAAAAAACPc/6AVbPN_j7vE/s1600/ea41_captain_america_hoodie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-3pL_Ub1Mf_E/TuDz9CoMs9I/AAAAAAAACPc/6AVbPN_j7vE/s1600/ea41_captain_america_hoodie.jpg" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">//source</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
just in case you were on the fence about whether or not this is cool enough:</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rfF6AL2EWm0/TuD00j2yAWI/AAAAAAAACPk/gnZMBSg0b8E/s1600/144px-CapShield01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rfF6AL2EWm0/TuD00j2yAWI/AAAAAAAACPk/gnZMBSg0b8E/s1600/144px-CapShield01.jpg" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>This nation was founded on one principle above all else: the requirement that we stand up for what we believe, no matter the odds or the consequences. When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world — </i><b><i>"No, <u>you</u> move."</i></b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #999999; font-size: x-large;">-5-</span><div style="color: #999999;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">nutria jewelry, winning at keeping up with the trends</span></div>
i hear this is the next big thing. be the one to get it started in your town, on ya special lady friend.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oHEKzDTCUuA/TuD6O8imVzI/AAAAAAAACPs/IfduwIwkCAc/s1600/jewelry-table_.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-oHEKzDTCUuA/TuD6O8imVzI/AAAAAAAACPs/IfduwIwkCAc/s320/jewelry-table_.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div style="color: #999999;">
<span style="font-size: x-large;">-6-</span></div>
<span style="font-size: x-large;"><span style="color: #999999;">easy feet, winning at noticing</span></span><br />
<br />
<br />
nothing says i love you like caring for your loved ones ashy feet. they
will feel <i>hugged</i> by your caring and keen eye for what they really need. good for you for noticing!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JZzMKvZmtLY/TuD83WcL-nI/AAAAAAAACP8/s0jrLmUS1wI/s1600/easy-feet-300x278.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-JZzMKvZmtLY/TuD83WcL-nI/AAAAAAAACP8/s0jrLmUS1wI/s1600/easy-feet-300x278.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
...and there you have it. see? i told you you would thank me.</div>
</div>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-8425520736479107592011-12-04T15:00:00.000-06:002011-12-07T12:00:46.861-06:00it's time to make a move<div style="text-align: center;">
one sunday night, at a church in town that is not our regular church, hearing a speaker<span style="font-size: x-small;">*</span> that is not the regular speaker: </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
he's belting loudly, <br />
"that thing that stands between you and God,<br />
<i>what are you gonna do about it</i>?"</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
he's running back and forth across the front of the church, his body so full of passion and drive that he can't even walk anymore. he runs.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>if you had one shot, one opportunity</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>to seize everything you ever wanted</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>would you capture it? or just let it slip?</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i><br /></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>...you only get one shot</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>do not miss your chance to blow</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>this opportunity comes once in a lifetime.<span style="font-size: xx-small;"> </span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">eminem</span> </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<span style="font-size: large;">this is your moment</span>,</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
on the count of three, i want you to shout it out!"<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>feet fail me not, </i></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<i>this may be the only opportunity i got</i><br />
<i><span style="font-size: xx-small;">eminem</span> </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>holy crap! i'm in church,</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>other people are gonna hear me.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>am i really about to do this?!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
"what are you gonna do about it?!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;">come on! </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
it's clogging your pipe! <span style="font-size: large;">what are you gonna do about it?</span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
go hard!<br />
go strong.<br />
go for it.</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
here we go, <b>ya ready</b>?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
shout it out, on </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
one!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
two!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
THREE!</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<span style="font-size: large;">SHOUT!</span>"</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>throw the pills!, i shout.</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
SAY IT AGAIN!!</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>throw the pills!</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
-------------------------------------------</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<div style="text-align: center;">
for two years, at least, the thoughts weaved themselves into me. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i><adderall an="" appetite="" is="" suppressant.=""></adderall></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
two years, like water dripping on a rock. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
<i><it'll make="" quick.="" thin,="" you=""></it'll></i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
at first, it was unthinkable, (unthinkable) having been sober for 12 years. i had no desire to fight my way back up that road again. twelve years sobriety -- that sort of trophy is not quickly handed over.<br />
<br />
except in exchange for an upgrade.<br />
<br />
a thin body, the ultimate trophy...</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
eventually though, unthinkable faded away, and in its place - louder than reason, louder than 'sense', louder than trust in an all-knowing God, the thing i felt strongest was <i>determination and desparation</i>.<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
ever been there? </div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
you ever wanted something so badly you didn't care what it cost to have it?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br />
ever identified with sarah, hating your lot, fed up with waiting on God to come through for you?</div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
ever taken your life into your hands, saying, 'no, God'... i'm done with your way. your way is too slow.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i don't know if our lives are ever really and truly in our own hands, but i've said, 'no, God. what's the holdup! why won't you <i>do</i> something?! you see my struggle, i know you do. i'm trying and i'm <i>so tired</i> of trying. your way sucks. i'm going this way now'.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i finally said 'yes, i want to try a few.' </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i got some adderall, took them for a few days and felt so conflicted --- pupils dilated, teeth clenched, so unlike myself, but also something else. they 'worked'. i wasn't hungry.<br />
<br />
i wasn't hungry. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
meanwhile, my trainer at the gym tells me about eating paleo, and how that would help me to reach my potential.<br />
<br />
i knew when he said it, something resonated,<i> this is the way</i>.<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>Your teacher will be right there, local</i><br />
<i>and on the job,</i><br />
<i>urging you on whenever you wander left or right:</i><br />
<i>"this is the right road.</i><br />
<i>walk down this road."</i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>isaiah 30:21</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
i can see it.
two paths, diverged in a v-formation. before this, i don't remember ever feeling so <b>tempted</b> by anything... <i><b>such</b></i> a drive to find life outside of him. i <i>knew</i> it wasn't the right way, but <u>i didn't care</u>.<br />
<br />
i don't mean for it to sound so black and white. so clean cut. life is never so cut and dried as this sounds.
it was two lines of thought, fighting to be the alpha, criss-crossing
and intersecting... it's never two tracks running alongside each other
like train rails. it's much more confusing and messy than that. it's a
tangled web. sober, knowing thoughts of what to do one moment, drowned
out by screaming flesh the next. like two dogs fighting, one on top,
and then the other, back and forth and over again. <br />
<br />
i flushed what was left of those pills.<br />
<br />
but then i got some more.<br />
<br />
a different kind of pills, from a different source. new justification, new reasons why this way was better. i still felt high, just not <i>as</i> high. i still clenched my teeth and fists. i still stuttered, trying to form sentences. but i fought through, trying to deliberately act like someone <i>not</i> on speed.</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br />
i wanted to keep on going, but something nagged at me. a fear... i was so afraid of what lived at the end of the road, not knowing specifically what it might look like, but fearing what generally waits down such a road, knowing how hard it might be to fight my way back... to come back from it.<br />
<br />
i knew it was about more than pills, about so much more than losing weight. i was shutting off my heart, closing myself off, walling myself in... i could feel myself losing my way all because i wanted so desperately to lose the weight.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i came home from church that sunday night and did nothing. my mind was made up and i wasn't trying to convince myself anymore about which way was right, but i didn't act on it yet.<br />
<br />
two days later, looking over my notes from that night, notes taken feverishly, not wanting to miss a word, knowing i was hearing the voice of the living God, calling me out, calling me up, i read these words:<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
"<i>everything - and i do mean everything - </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>connected with that old way of life has to go. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>it's rotten through and through. </i></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<i>get rid of it!</i>"</div>
<br />
i walked over to the cabinet, took out the pills and walked over to the trash can and felt a fresh surge of questions rush up through me.<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>are you just being extreme? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>is this really necessary? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>is throwing away a 2-month supply</i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i> in the trash really necessary? </i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i>you could just give them away. </i></div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
i set them down on the counter, next to the trash can and sat back down at my open journal and Bible where i saw these words: "<i>'this is the right road. walk down this road.' you'll scrap your expensive and fashionable god-images. <b> you'll throw them in the trash as so much garbage, saying, 'good riddance!'</b></i>".<br />
<br />
giggling and looking up into the sky, i shook my head sort of in disbelief, walked back to the bottle, picked it up and dropped it into the trash saying aloud to myself and to the enemy of my soul,<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
good riddance. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xeffNXURJmw/TtvhdU2ILYI/AAAAAAAACO0/W2Hl6FmONJE/s1600/tumblr_lswl8fhLoR1qzori2o1_500_large.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xeffNXURJmw/TtvhdU2ILYI/AAAAAAAACO0/W2Hl6FmONJE/s320/tumblr_lswl8fhLoR1qzori2o1_500_large.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
</div>
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*rex crain</span></div>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-2525069943086769862011-11-03T11:04:00.000-05:002011-11-04T11:18:48.016-05:00my unbucket listi totally ganked this idea from <a href="http://www.robshep.com/2011/11/03/my-unbucket-list/">rob shep</a>. (not sure if i should offer thanks for the great idea, or my apologies for my thievery.) <br />
<br />
i'm really hard up for blog material right now and and <i>AND</i>, let's not forget that copying is the highest form of flattery. we do it in the fashion world <i>all the time</i>! let us all just agree here, so that i can sleep like a baby angel tonight.<br />
<br />
on we go...<br />
<br />
in rob's words, and i quote: "<i>A lot of people have a bucket list. That is a list of things that they
want to do before they die. I have an unbucket list. That is a list of
things that I hope never happen to me before I die.</i>" end quote<br />
<br />
<b>here's my list:</b><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li>own a poodle or other small dog. don't even try to flannelmouth me into getting one. i have such a devoted hatred for the yapping. and poodles? ugh, disgust. </li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li> pierce my septum. makes my body do the freak out dance just thinking about it. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>have a baby the regular way. i'm a big fan of the c-section. too much information? sorry. </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>start an i.v. (or perform any other invasive medical procedure) </li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>live in a cold climate. this one is unfortunate as i love the mountains. like <i>want to marry them </i>love them. but i will not be snowed in, or shovel snow, or shiver for 6 months.</li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
it's portrayed all romantic-like and makes me swoon all over on my insides...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4wWMBrHTBPo/TrKkbudBLqI/AAAAAAAACMQ/r9U0IlY4kYU/s1600/images.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-4wWMBrHTBPo/TrKkbudBLqI/AAAAAAAACMQ/r9U0IlY4kYU/s1600/images.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aPQzC4eF1U8/TrKkfNJidJI/AAAAAAAACMY/Qe3fg_vjYuQ/s1600/Snowed-inL.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-aPQzC4eF1U8/TrKkfNJidJI/AAAAAAAACMY/Qe3fg_vjYuQ/s320/Snowed-inL.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
but then i remember it's a package deal that comes with alot of this...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
you can't have one without the other.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
(who else just thought about <i>married with children</i>?) </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4HCOSsTZZqM/TrKkyeM28gI/AAAAAAAACMg/7xfQxgYgKXc/s1600/blizzard-2010-nyc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="208" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-4HCOSsTZZqM/TrKkyeM28gI/AAAAAAAACMg/7xfQxgYgKXc/s320/blizzard-2010-nyc.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<ul>
<li> be in physical contact with a spider. i am telling you, i will slaughter myself to get free from it. let's not even talk about tarantulas. a spider with fangs! i don't know what God was thinking...</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>be on trial for something</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>take up smoking</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>grow my nails out comme ça... </li>
</ul>
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lceYegemmTY/TrKpdtraOcI/AAAAAAAACMo/_T8S9aY0sZ0/s1600/world-record-longest-fingernails202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-lceYegemmTY/TrKpdtraOcI/AAAAAAAACMo/_T8S9aY0sZ0/s320/world-record-longest-fingernails202.jpg" width="221" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">guinnes world record for longest nails</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<ul>
<li>scuba dive. kill me now. i'll learn what's down there from The Books, thankyoukindly.</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li>enter into an eating contest</li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li> look like this girl. i mean seriously, her <i>bangs </i>are so ridiculous.</li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0kK0ZG3B4C8/TrKtsqd75fI/AAAAAAAACMw/COV8jpX6llY/s1600/5572_105237067818_618372818_2235122_8189426_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-0kK0ZG3B4C8/TrKtsqd75fI/AAAAAAAACMw/COV8jpX6llY/s1600/5572_105237067818_618372818_2235122_8189426_n.jpg" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<b> unconventional things i <i>would</i> like to do:</b><br />
<ul>
<li>get in a fist fight. i know! that's so wrong. i might oughtta just take up boxing so i can do it the "nice" way. don't you ever think life would be easier if you could just open up a can? on something that will defend itself, of course. not like, a <i>tree</i>. i mean come on, i don't want to lacerate my fists. THAT WOULD NOT MAKE LIFE EASIER.</li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<ul>
<li> be a unicorn or a narwhal. they're just the cutest.</li>
</ul>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1IOOc31jzEQ/TrKvA5HChFI/AAAAAAAACM4/F8tMtIXRGzg/s1600/Narwhal_unicorn.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="217" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-1IOOc31jzEQ/TrKvA5HChFI/AAAAAAAACM4/F8tMtIXRGzg/s320/Narwhal_unicorn.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: large;"><i>what about you? what's on your list?</i></span></div>
<br />
<br />Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-84231771858688802382011-09-28T11:18:00.002-05:002011-09-28T11:31:49.681-05:00things you should never run into a room and yell + announcementsit's midweek, when it feels like it should at least be thursday. here is a dose of mercy, in the form of laughter, to get you through the week.<br />
<br />
you owe me.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="259" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/PM5vvX6BX0U?rel=0" width="450"></iframe><br />
<br />
oh no, wait, there's more.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="259" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/g8Lcku2YWFA?rel=0" width="450"></iframe><br />
<br />
now you owe me even more.<br />
<br />
and don't try to pay me in peanut butter.<br />
<br />
acceptable forms of payment are as follows:<br />
form an alliance with me<br />
<br />
that is all. <br />
<br />Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-82170744335638349472011-09-17T14:22:00.002-05:002011-09-17T14:34:58.644-05:00nailed it<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c1XfFJcnONA/TnTy50nK2SI/AAAAAAAACLM/bdtCCvQw468/s1600/I625220_large1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c1XfFJcnONA/TnTy50nK2SI/AAAAAAAACLM/bdtCCvQw468/s320/I625220_large1.jpg" width="250" /></a></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
a moose noshes much mush. </div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
y'all know that tongue twister? i'd never heard it before. one of the kids came across it in a book and they were all clambering to be the first to get through it without tripping.</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
never to be outdone, the 4 year old, shortest of the shorties, very self-assuredly says,<br />
and i quote:<br />
</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif;">
"i can shay that. a noos moshes mush mush. sho easy."</div>
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-31121689424414237012011-09-16T07:24:00.000-05:002011-09-16T07:24:17.270-05:00keep trying honey. you'll get it next time.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2zwKQK7F0yA/TnM9IOIK5qI/AAAAAAAACK0/58BX0j1v_Vs/s1600/education-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2zwKQK7F0yA/TnM9IOIK5qI/AAAAAAAACK0/58BX0j1v_Vs/s320/education-1.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
reading a store-front sign, our eldest man-child sees the word 'education' and says aloud,</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
'uh-douche-uh-cay-shun'.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
close honey, but no cigar.</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<i><span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><u>...and now for your own uh-douche-uh-cay-shun:</u></span></i></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>U.S. funfair stalls in the
mid-20th century </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>offered cigars as prizes to the winner. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>whenever
someone would lose a game -- </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>particularly, the one where you test your
strength </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>by trying to ring a bell with a sledge hammer -- </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>after being
so close to victory and still falling short, </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>the owner of the stall
would say,</i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i> "close, but no cigar." </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>there is no evidence to
back this up, </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><i>however it is likely the phrase originated from here. </i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;">arbitrary so it must be true.<i><br /></i></span></div>
<div style="text-align: right;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;"><br /></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span class="size10 Helvetica10" style="color: black;">and now i'm off to buy cigars, for when he gets it right next time.</span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-23068834729458063902011-09-05T04:00:00.000-05:002011-09-05T04:00:00.791-05:00all is grace<iframe frameborder="0" height="225" src="http://player.vimeo.com/video/28240457?byline=0&portrait=0&color=ffffff" width="400"></iframe><br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/28240457">All Is Grace (With Ann Voskamp)</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/shaungroves">Shaun Groves</a> on <a href="http://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
<br /><br />
you have loved us<br />
you have loved us all<br />
you have loved us all so we love
all <br />
<br />
you have blessed us<br />
you have blessed us all<br />
you have blessed us all so we bless all<br />
<br />
thank you for Christ and cross<br />
through us tell the wandering<br />
thank you for making peace<br />
through us love our enemies <br />
<br />
thank you
for daily bread<br />
through us fill the empty<br />
thank you for bodies whole<br />
through us mend the breaking<br />
<br />
all is grace<br />
all is grace<br />
all is grace and
grace enough for...<br />
<br />
all is grace<br />
all is grace<br />
all is grace and grace enough for
all of us <br />
for all of us...<br />
<br />
you have loved us<br />
you have loved us all<br />
you have loved us all so we love all<br />
<br />
<div style="color: #999999;">
<i>download the song for free <a href="http://thirdworldsymphony.com/">here</a>. </i></div>
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-34488541545875572042011-09-03T13:16:00.000-05:002011-09-03T13:16:10.119-05:00awesome<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
he hands me a flip-top mayo,</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
hey mom, can you open this?</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
(done.)(with ease.)</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
(astonished) how'd you <i>do</i> that?</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<b>'cause i'm awesome.</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
you're not awesome at <i>everything</i>.</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<b>no, but <i>most</i> things.</b></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
you're not awesome at <i>not</i> loving me.</div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: left;">
<b>yeah, you right. i stink at that. </b></div>
Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-85397452709872672852011-09-01T19:17:00.000-05:002011-09-01T19:17:58.674-05:00fall-ing in love. get it? fall. falling? yeah.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"> it's almost fall (hooray!), and my dearest wish, fashion-ly speaking, is to live in clothes like these. the long skirt with a long sleeve top just barely tucked in is my new style crush, and i've fallen hard. like, concussion hard.</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">i can't wear orange (or any warm, autumnal shades) unless i wish to look dead (i don't), but other than the color choice here, this outfit is perfect. maybe gray, or even dark green would do nicely. </div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">and good gravy, is that a pocket her hand is in? </div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">sweet mother of pearl. i die.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gWZXBWAL9fA/Tl-ok3lTjpI/AAAAAAAACJQ/wIPjhak9hag/s1600/11m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-gWZXBWAL9fA/Tl-ok3lTjpI/AAAAAAAACJQ/wIPjhak9hag/s320/11m.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jcrew</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">and this little sugar. what a darling little getup. i can't afford jcrew (who can??), but i'm pretty sure i could recreate this look with a few trips to The Goodwill, and maybe The Etsy.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CD1ldRnIruw/Tl-omBRrlEI/AAAAAAAACJc/HM75S56Vkco/s1600/22m.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-CD1ldRnIruw/Tl-omBRrlEI/AAAAAAAACJc/HM75S56Vkco/s320/22m.jpg" width="213" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jcrew</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">and now for the jewels. i have been a pinning fool since i've seen these next photos. (you may have noticed, if you follow <a href="http://pinterest.com/jodie_velour/">my pinboards</a>.)</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">look at all the<i> lucite / bakelite / plastic with and without rhinestones! </i>j'adore ça!</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">it's like the 60s 70s and 80s at their <i>finest</i> all over again.</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DUnyPNipmgA/Tl-okCJzbyI/AAAAAAAACJI/DXxOfDvob6E/s1600/2.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DUnyPNipmgA/Tl-okCJzbyI/AAAAAAAACJI/DXxOfDvob6E/s320/2.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" width="205" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jcrew</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J185IQVh8jg/Tl-ompsCFfI/AAAAAAAACJg/VxmfqpCObvo/s1600/25.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-J185IQVh8jg/Tl-ompsCFfI/AAAAAAAACJg/VxmfqpCObvo/s320/25.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" width="191" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jcrew</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"> <i>also, on an unrelated note, </i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i>where are this girl's arms? </i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i>i never see anybody </i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i>with an over-sized blazer </i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i>draped over her outfit like a cape. </i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i> it's so unrealistic, jcrew. </i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i> other than that, i cast no stones.</i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i>except maybe the puffy vest.</i></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: right;"><i>that's not something i can get behind either.</i></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qAXbuxMqk8k/Tl-okQ2REaI/AAAAAAAACJM/-27J8k33Qas/s1600/9.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qAXbuxMqk8k/Tl-okQ2REaI/AAAAAAAACJM/-27J8k33Qas/s320/9.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" width="184" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jcrew</td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LMC5OvgEQJE/Tl-olVwBi5I/AAAAAAAACJU/ItPcPI6yoIg/s1600/13.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-LMC5OvgEQJE/Tl-olVwBi5I/AAAAAAAACJU/ItPcPI6yoIg/s320/13.%252Bjcrew%252Bfall%252B2011%252Bhabituallychic.JPG" width="220" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">jcrew</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"> leave it to jcrew to make a large plastic chain necklace an item you covet. (<u><i>i</i></u> covet.) they have super powers, those jcrew folks. not strong enough to make me pay their prices but strong enough to send me sniffing out etsy like a hound dog trailin' a coon.</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">i never thought anything would have the power to sway me back in the direction of plastic bangles. but here i be, smitten. smote? smited? </div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">i love them <i>ardently</i>. </div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">here are a few items i've found that are super fantastic:</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">subliminal message: </span></div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: x-small;">my birthday is next month</span></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xhiaOHr77fE/TmANF_SSYlI/AAAAAAAACKE/FqehZ78w5xg/s1600/il_570xN.260662285.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-xhiaOHr77fE/TmANF_SSYlI/AAAAAAAACKE/FqehZ78w5xg/s320/il_570xN.260662285.jpg" width="313" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/78866109/vintage-necklace-50s-black-lucite-link?ref=sr_gallery_12&ga_search_query=plastic+chain+necklace&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=10&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3fu5d5ssZTg/TmAMVPZb4lI/AAAAAAAACJ8/4IKXGJtLqzE/s1600/il_570xN.261030311.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-3fu5d5ssZTg/TmAMVPZb4lI/AAAAAAAACJ8/4IKXGJtLqzE/s320/il_570xN.261030311.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/78952434/art-deco-brass-and-celluloid-buckle?ref=sr_gallery_33&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=art+deco++bracelet&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=3&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bj7460IPuhI/TmAFxgYAZnI/AAAAAAAACJs/82Wr-6lTG20/s1600/il_570xN.266030202.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="293" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Bj7460IPuhI/TmAFxgYAZnI/AAAAAAAACJs/82Wr-6lTG20/s320/il_570xN.266030202.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/80374768/stunning-cherry-red-vintage-lucite?ref=sr_gallery_7&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=lucite+bracelet+bangle&ga_order=most_relevant&ga_ship_to=US&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q3IMqnYuguM/TmAMvBJ6MDI/AAAAAAAACKA/ASpak9e0L44/s1600/154665628_eJmwjNf9_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="246" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Q3IMqnYuguM/TmAMvBJ6MDI/AAAAAAAACKA/ASpak9e0L44/s320/154665628_eJmwjNf9_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/79786556/skinny-bangle-bracelets-bohemian-jewelry?ref=sr_gallery_25&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=brass+bangle+bracelet&ga_order=price_asc&ga_ship_to=US&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_page=3&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Zf4oxvk4U8o/TmAIC7nqRYI/AAAAAAAACJ4/Y-N2jiqtqFs/s1600/154601628_5l9CWjrR_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Zf4oxvk4U8o/TmAIC7nqRYI/AAAAAAAACJ4/Y-N2jiqtqFs/s320/154601628_5l9CWjrR_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/75665316/rhinestone-vintage-oval-black-enamel">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2hfKrBGksFs/TmANug_oN4I/AAAAAAAACKI/6pzIbbsz-Qo/s1600/il_570xN.267028149.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="195" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-2hfKrBGksFs/TmANug_oN4I/AAAAAAAACKI/6pzIbbsz-Qo/s320/il_570xN.267028149.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.etsy.com/listing/80667777/vintage-lucite-bangle-bracelet-trio?ref=sr_gallery_29&ga_search_submit=&ga_search_query=lucite+bracelets&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_ship_to=US&ga_page=7&ga_search_type=all&ga_facet=">source</a></td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"> i'll stop there, lest i post every picture on <a href="http://pinterest.com/jodie_velour/for-the-love-of-beauty-and-style/">my pinboard</a>!</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">so, in closing, <i>these</i> clothes, <i>that </i>jewelry and a couple of caftans and perhaps these shoes...</div><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sp6P9-AGWbA/TmAgeYXIp9I/AAAAAAAACKM/OhLqs6EbIAM/s1600/111014696_yQg8eqdK_c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-sp6P9-AGWbA/TmAgeYXIp9I/AAAAAAAACKM/OhLqs6EbIAM/s320/111014696_yQg8eqdK_c.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">payless</td></tr>
</tbody></table><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"> ...and i am golden, baby!</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div style="font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;">is there anything you're crushing on this fall? please to be sharing in the comments. who knows, there may be other things i'm supposed to fall in love with. i'd hate to miss out.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; font-family: Times,"Times New Roman",serif; text-align: center;"></div>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-59724399548362241672011-08-31T15:23:00.000-05:002011-08-31T15:23:05.085-05:00anybody know of a good hair fertilizer?i cut my hair the other day. the bottom six inches was like straw. it was so dry and brittle, but you know what else it was? it was LONG! like, mid-way down my back long, and it was loved. i loved that length with all the love my heart can hold for hair. <br />
<br />
which i've learned is alot. <br />
<br />
sadly, it was beyond a simple deep conditioning treatment. (at least i <i>think</i> it was?)(i'm thinking now though that i never even gave vo5 hot oil a chance. remember that stuff? is it still even around? i think my grandma used to use it. i don't even know if it works but next time i may give it a shot because this haircut has made me feel all kinds of pathetic.) at the time, all i could see was that my hair's only hope of salvation was scissors.<br />
<br />
and now i hate it. i hate my hair.<br />
<br />
i feel like some of my confidence fell to the floor with those dead ends. the length made me feel better about myself. i wish i could pull on it, stretching it out, forcing it to grow. <br />
<br />
i want it back. it took a sweet forever to grow that hair, which is how long i'll have to wait until it returns.<br />
wahh wahh wahh!<br />
<br />
sigh<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">anyway,</div><div style="text-align: right;">do y'all have any good</div><div style="text-align: right;">conditioner recommendations,</div><div style="text-align: right;">so that the next time my hair is long,</div><div style="text-align: right;"><i>(hurry up already, hair!) </i></div><div style="text-align: right;">it won't meet with the same end?</div><div style="text-align: right;">and if not a conditioner,</div><div style="text-align: right;">how about a fertilizer? </div><div style="text-align: right;"><br />
</div>Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2757808869625706730.post-37120038178644778302011-08-21T06:00:00.013-05:002011-08-21T06:00:10.247-05:00i am a skipper. and i don't mean a boat captain.so it appears i may have lied to you. <br />
<br />
i hope you won't hold a grudge against me, but there is no sunday six this week either. <br />
<br />
please forgive my being given to such erratic changeableness. i know it; i am as fickle as a pickle is sour. or sweet.<br />
<br />
depending on the pickle. <br />
<br />
and now i'm confusing my own self with my own metaphor. <br />
<br />
<i>obviously, making up metaphors is not my special purpose. </i><br />
<br />
however, i do hope that you'll have a lovely, loungey sunday. you know the ones. the kind filled with lounging and napping and stretching like a cat. i hope that your day is like <i>that</i>. Jodie | Velourhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/05934490293293685281noreply@blogger.com0