3.30.2017

the door of my lips

sunday morning in church the pastor shared with us two dreams that had been given to two of their intercessors.

in the one dream, a person stood before two fields, one in front of the other. 

in the first field, there were six alligators, representing
big mouths.

gossip
criticism
complaint
grumbling
contempt
negativity
murmuring
life-sucking

in the field beyond them was a whale spouting water from its belly, representing the DEEP things of God.

to get to the deep things of God, we've got to get past our mouths.

to get to the deep things of God, i've got to get past my mouth.

...if i can't tame my tongue, i am not fit to call myself a lover of God. a follower of Jesus. i am not fit for His Kingdom. 

those who consider themselves religious
and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues 
deceive themselves, 
and their religion is worthless.
james 1:26

worthless.

 the tongue is a fire, 
a world of evil among the parts of the body.
 it corrupts the whole body, 
sets the whole course of one's life on fire, 
and is itself set on fire by hell.
james 3:6
a wildfire. set on fire by hell.

not one for mincing words, that james.

"to the one who believes in Me," 
Jesus says,
"it is just as the Scripture has said:
 'Streams of living water will flow from within him'".
Living
Water

picture that whale. can you see it? can you see the water bursting upward from deep inside him?

in the second dream that was shared, which goes hand in hand with the first, we were given an even clearer picture.

in this dream was a person with worms falling out of their mouth, falling to the ground.

ugh. can you even imagine a more disgusting picture?

i'm struck with this thought: everything that proceeds from our bellies comes out of our mouths.

think about that.
can both fresh water 
and salt water 
flow from the same spring? 
james 3:11

words. they can be fresh. they can bitter.
they can be Life. they can be Death.

how much emphasis God places on what proceeds from our mouths!!

and we all know it to be true, don't we? 

so i listened sunday morning, nodding along in agreement. it's so easy when no one is aggravating you, when your flesh is not being poked and prodded, so easy to smile and yes and amen along with everyone else... yes! words have power! words have teeth! we should choose Life!

but then monday comes.
and then tuesday, then wednesday.

and so far you've behaved pretty well, but you aren't angry yet.

then an opportunity presents itself and the line appears in your heart and you know it's there! you see the line so clearly.

in a conversation with a friend, i see it, i feel the strong warning rise up in my heart - mayday! mayday! - i know i'm about to cross over into sin. i recognize the conviction of the Holy Spirit. stop here, Jodie, you're entering enemy territory.

...but i didn't. i didn't stop.
i blasted past His voice straight over the line and let 
worms

fall 

to

the

ground.

worms. the lowest level of life. they are DECOMPOSERS. 

i pushed my toe - and my tongue - straight into full blown tearing down of another person.

does it matter that my feelings might be justified? do i have a right to feel what i feel? i do. i can feel what i feel and i can take that anger, frustration, and yes, even judgement TO GOD. that is the safe place to bring it. not offering my complaint, fueling a fire, with another person - realizing even in the moment that i am more than likely exacerbating a problem. sucking life.

however i may feel in the moment about another person will never make handling it that way okay.

grumbling
gossiping
complaining
criticising
pulling down
contempt

do i get a pass because the person i spoke of wasn't directly hurt by my remarks?

i don't.

what matters is that i used my mouth for evil. i dishonored. i sucked life. i tore down. the words i spoke were set on fire by hell. they were Death. not Life.
they were Bitter. not Fresh.
___________________________

i WANT so much the DEEP things of God - but i will never reach that field if i don't WILL myself to be obedient to His voice now. every time.

to be faithful in little so that i can be entrusted with much.

i desire His Voice and His Presence over everything.

but He will not increase what i will not Honor.

i must learn to be 
humble in aggravation
humble in frustration
humble in anger

be angry yet do not sin.

sin feels good for a moment, doesn't it. pointing out "their" wrong, ignoring the plank of decomposition in my own eye, can feel satisfying. but it's so ugly, and we have to recognize it as what it is.


"it is a great thing to tell yourself the truth." oswald chambers

regardless of anyone's faults it is never okay for me to tear them down in a conversation with another person. it is so dishonoring. i must remember that even people i may dislike for a moment are still made in the image and likeness of God and it is not my job to complain and grumble against them - it is my job to bless


through the blessing of the upright 
a city is exalted, 
but by the mouth of the wicked 
it is destroyed. 
proverbs 11:11

and at the very least, as Thumper's mom said, "if you can't say nothin' nice, don't say nothin' at all."

i must learn to have the feelings -  because we do live in a fallen world and we deal with each other - broken people on our way Home to Wholeness, and feelings are going to come up.... i must learn to have the feelings, and choose humility.

in all of this, i have to learn how to Abide in the True Vine. 
remain
do not leave
continue to be present
keep continually in Him
cling
refuse to depart

to learn to discern + obey the tenor of his voice

and to make no excuse for sin. 

set a guard over my mouth, Lord; 
keep watch over the door of my lips.
psalm 141:3

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UPDATED TO ADD:
immediately after writing this, i called that friend i spoke with and i apologized. i repented for having said too much. it was humbling - but it also felt good to make it right.

2 comments:

  1. Oh my gosh. This is so GOOD, and I'm sending it right to my freedom group. That is exactly what we will be discussing on Tuesday night. ��

    ReplyDelete
  2. "I must learn to have the feelings but choose humility."
    Truth.

    ReplyDelete