9.04.2011

the sunday six: edition: not a fan



//1
dr. pepper
it's true. i can't stand the stuff.
i'm a pibb girl (but only with popcorn at the movies).
the doctor is out.
the mr. will see you now.

(i don't know what that means.)

//2
oysters
 i have not the intestinal fortitude to eat an oyster.  i cannot eat something that looks like the production of a really bad chest cold? 

//3
disposable razors
 lubricating strip?
smooth shave?
you're not fooling anybody.
i mean truly, have you ever been more lacerated in your whole adult life?  they're the reason band-aids have such a following.
i don't care what they promise you.
they lie.
don't believe the lies.

//4
fair swings
 aww, doesn't that look like fun?
no.
it doesn't.
 it looks like puke.

//5
the beach 
i know.  that one's a surprise.
it's not so much that i hate the beach. i don't hate it.
i just infinitely prefer a stream in the mountains, a good hike to a waterfall, woodland creatures.  the beach has no hedgehogs.  no chipmunks.  no cute little red and white mushroom caps...  not enough pleasantries to recommend itself to me.
i would never see this on the beach:
and so the forest has my heart.

//6
road trips 
i love them in theory but i dislike not being able to stop because of the rush to get there and then the rush to get home.  see my letters whizzing by?  like my car, speeding past so many missed picture  opportunities!  i understand that we can't stop for every one (i hate it but i understand) or else we'd need an extra week to get home, and who has the time?, and this is precisely what i dislike about road trips.  there's not enough time to document them. it's such a rush you don't have time to suck the marrow out of them. 

in heaven though, i'm gonna love road trips!

------------------
and that is all she wrote!
happy sunday, folks!

6 comments:

  1. aww, thank you Dana! you are a doll!

    i am a fan of my fans. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. good news: i can leave a comment if i do not come from facebook.

    bad news: we have a conflict. i ADORE dr. pepper
    and can remember vividly the first time i drank
    one. it was 32 years ago! :)

    better news: i adamantly agree on everything else,
    especially the oysters. long ago, it occurred to me
    that i only like the crackers and cocktail sauce. . .
    which i willl happily eat while everyone else eats
    the yucky part.

    ReplyDelete
  3. 1. I loved Dr. Pepper until I had the flu one year, and can't drink it since. But Pibb is the same to me.

    2. oysters - disgusting. WHY would anyone want to eat that? Who was the first person to look at that and think, "that looks good enough to eat..." DUMB!

    3. if you try the razors with 3 blades instead of 2, you will have less lacerations. I don't get it. But my husband once asked me to pick up razors and I said "which ones? Mach 10?" he laughed and laughed because, apparently, the number in the name is indicative of the number of blades. Now I know.

    4. Love the beach. Pretty much hate all creatures, except horses.

    5. I love road trips without kids.

    6. swings look like puke -- made me laugh out loud. I agree.

    ReplyDelete
  4. 1. I agree Mr. Pibb is the greater of the prefixed soft drinks. However I will never, ever abandon DP unless there is an abundant, unending flow of Mr. Pibb to compensate.

    2. Oysters are the most disgusting things ever.

    3. I hate them too. Especially now that every little cut makes me bleed like a stuck pig.

    4. I pretty much hate fairs in general. Except for funnel cakes. They are the exception.

    5. I love pools on the beach. But I can do without the sand, the ocean, and the seaweed.

    6. I like road trips, as long as the scenery isn't boring. Road tripping through Colorado? Awesome. Road tripping through west Texas? Put me out of my misery.

    ReplyDelete
  5. lea:
    (good) hooray!
    (bad) i can live with that.
    (better) we got lots in common where it really counts! :)

    holly:
    3. haha! mach 10! haha!
    6. i do try. :)

    tara:
    1. "prefixed soft drinks". i love you.
    6. oh yeah, i forgot about west texas. hmm, not too many photo ops there, huh? the other thing i do love is finding funny business names. small towns are just littered with them and they're a joy to unearth! :)

    ReplyDelete